Fearless Hope: A Novel Read Free Page A

offer. Driving her to Ohio seemed like a small price to pay to avoid having to shop for a gift. He hated wandering around department stores trying to find something she’d like. “Sure,” he said, staring into his coffee cup. “Why not? When do you want to leave?”

chapter T WO
    L ike most wives, Hope Schrock had wondered what it would feel like if she ever had to bury her husband. Would she be stoic and strong, or would she fall apart?
    Being Amish, she knew she would be expected to bow to God’s will, but deep down, she could not imagine continuing to breathe without the man she loved. She expected to feel a blinding grief from which she would never fully recover.
    Now that which she had feared had come to pass. Titus was gone. She was a widow, her children fatherless, but her mind was not reacting like it should.
    The blinding grief had not hit. So far, all she felt was a wild and raging anger . . . at Titus. Oh, how she would love to give that man a good talking-to!
    This made no earthly sense, but the fact remained—she could not will away the fury that smoldered in her breast. Oh, how badly she wanted to tell Titus that she was not a child or stupid. She had known what she was talking about when she begged him to sell that bull. If he had only listened!
    Bishop Schrock, her father-in-law, walked through the door. She kept her eyes down, fearful that he would look into her heart and see the anger she felt toward his son. Her father-in-lawhad his own great grief to carry. He did not need to deal with her anger on top of his own sadness.
    Titus had been such a happy-go-lucky person, especially for one with roots deep in the Amish faith. He always looked on the bright side of things. It was as though he thought nothing bad could ever happen to him or his family. It was probably that very optimism that killed him. Or his pride.
    Yet again, she remembered how he had sent her back into the house when she begged him to send the bull back, and her anger welled up yet again.
    This was not good with Bishop Schrock approaching her. He and his wife had always been kind to her, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt either of them.
    “You know you are welcome to move in with us,” he said. “Thelma and I have plenty of room. We would welcome having young ones beneath our roof again.”
    “Thank you.” She twisted a handkerchief around and around a finger. “But I would like to stay in the house that Titus and I shared together. I am grateful for your offer, though.”
    It was the truth. She was grateful, but as kind as the Schrocks had always been to her, she did not want to live with them.
    Little Adam tugged at her apron, wanting to go to the bathroom. At four, he was much too young to grasp the fact that they had just put his father in the ground.
    Tears started in Hope’s eyes when she thought about Titus, only four days earlier, sitting in the front yard, enjoying the sight of Adam playing with a toy tractor.
    Her mother, Rose, caught the little boy up in her arms and took him out. Adam had been difficult to potty-train. Her mother knew it was critical to get him out of there before he had an accident.
    A wave of morning sickness hit just as her twelve-year-oldsister asked if she could bring her something to eat. Hope shook her head and forced the bile down that was threatening to crawl up her throat.
    What a mess you’ve left me in, Titus. I should be home right now with my feet propped up and you bringing me tea and crackers! Her mind skittered around as she wondered what to do about the future. A young Englisch widow would probably hire a babysitter and go searching for a job that would support her family. The fact that Hope was Amish severely narrowed her choices, even though she sometimes dreamed of what she would do if she were free to choose any career she wanted.
    She had been smarter than Titus in school, quietly besting the whole class in every subject. Her math skills were excellent, as were her