Fancies and Goodnights Read Free

nails, and
scrubbed them both very thoroughly.
    He then sat down on the edge of the bath, put his elbows on his
knees and his chin on his hands, and gave himself up to a very
profound train of thought. Now and then he marked the checking-off
of some point or other by lifting a finger and bringing it back
again onto his cheek, or even onto the spot behind his jawbone
where there was that little movement, so like the movement of the
gills of a fish.
    At last Mr. Spiers seemed satisfied, and he turned out the light
and repaired to the conjugal bedroom, which was decorated in cream,
rose, and old gold.
    In the morning, Mr. Spiers arose at his usual hour and
descended, with his usual expression, to the breakfast room.
    His wife, who was his opposite in all respects, as some say a
wife should be, was already busy behind the coffee service. She was
as plump, as blonde, as good-humored, and as scatterbrained as any
woman should be at a breakfast table, perhaps even more so. The two
younger children were there; the two older ones were late.

GAVIN O

IF YOUTH KNEW IF AGE COULD
    The first thing one noticed about Henri Maurras was inevitably
his gaunt and quixotic Spanish nose, flanked by a pair of enormous
eyes, extremely dark and melancholy, but capable of fire. This
romantic equipment was unfortunately betrayed by the childish,
petulant mouth of a Parisian, and a ridiculous little mustache.
    For the rest, he was a mere thread of a young man, a veritable
nailparing, and wore a paper-thin grey suit, under which his little
buttocks presented all the appearance of a hair-pin. He worked as
assistant book-keeper in a big general store in Marseilles, and he
desired ardently to be married.
    Frequently he would lose count of a column of figures, and turn
up his dark eyes, as he visualized the bride of his dreams,
youthful, devoted, passionate, deliciously rounded, and yet of
immaculate reputation. Our passionate petit bourgeois was
especially set upon the immaculate reputation.
    His little mustache would twitch as he imagined the promenades
they would take on Sundays, envied by all who beheld them. She
would hang fondly on his arm, driving all the men to despair; he
would wear a smart suit from Marquet

THUS I REFUTE BEELZY

SPECIAL DELIVERY
    It was with his eyes wide open, and with a reluctance amounting
to dread, that Albert Baker slowly surrendered to the passion that
was to change his whole life.

ROPE ENOUGH
    Henry Fraser, well assured that almost everything is done by
mirrors, was given a job in India. No sooner had he set foot on
shore than he burst into a horse-laugh. Those who were meeting him
asked in some alarm the cause of this merriment. He replied he was
laughing at the mere idea of the Indian Rope Trick.
    He emitted similar startling sounds, and gave the same
explanation, at a tiffin where he was officially made welcome;
likewise on the Maidan, over chota peg , in rickshaws, in
bazaars, in the Club, and on the polo ground. Soon he was known
from Bombay to Calcutta as the man who laughed at the Indian Rope
Trick, and he gloried in the well-deserved publicity.
    There came a day, however, when he was sitting in his bungalow,
bored to death. His boy entered, and, with suitable salaams,
announced that a mountebank was outside, who craved the honour of
entertaining the sahib with a performance of the Indian Rope
Trick. Laughing heartily, Henry consented, and moved out to his
chair upon the veranda.
    Below, in the dusty compound, stood a native who was emaciated
to a degree, and who had with him a spry youngster, a huge mat
basket, and a monstrous great sword. Out of the basket he dragged
some thirty feet of stout rope, made a pass or two, and slung it up
into the air. It stayed there. Henry chuckled.
    The boy then, with a caper, sprang at the rope, clutched it, and
went up hand over hand, like a monkey. When he reached the top he
vanished into thin air. Henry guffawed.
    Soon the man, looking upwards with an anxious expression,