Falling Behind (Falling Series) Read Free Page A

in. I searched his eyes. They were full of want and heat, his eyes asking for more. I knew I wasn’t ready for the real thing. Maybe we could keep things simple. I leaned in, kissing him, again. This time, allowing him access into my mouth. When he moaned and kissed me deeper, my thoughts going haywire.
    I’m not ready for more than this. No, please don’t let him ask for more.
    Josh rolled over on top of me, movie forgotten, and began pushing himself on me, harder. I pulled back so I could talk. “Josh, please your squeezing my arm.” I looked down to where his fingers were squeezing so hard they had white around them. I was sure I would have a bruise.
    He quickly let go. “I’m sorry, Reese. I, uh, we don’t…”
    “I understand. It’s okay.” I lifted my head back up to meet his lips, swiftly brushing my lips against his.
    He gripped my hands. “I don’t think you do.” He lifted them above my head and whispered in to my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “I want you so bad.”
    “I’m not ready. Josh , I told you I’ve never done it before. I, uh, I can’t.”
    He growled as he pushed off me and headed toward the bathroom, “Then I guess I need a minute. I’ll be right back.” He stomped off toward the bathroom across the hall. I heard the door slam , grabbed his pillow and began crying. I knew this day would come. I knew dating a senior was going to be hard and I explained to him, up-front, that I wanted to wait until I was married. That was sort-of a lie and not necessarily what I was waiting for. But I wasn’t comfortable giving him that piece of me. Anytime we were alone, he always seemed to push the issue. I sat up and dried my eyes; sliding off his bed, I went to the bathroom door and knocked, softly. I didn’t want him upset with me. I may not be ready to give him my v-card, but I couldn’t lose him, either. I had to make it up to him.
    “Josh , let me in. Please.” I rested my head against the door.
    “Give me a second. I’ll be in my room in a minute.” His voice was tight and his speech fast.
    I heard the water running in the sink before spinning around and heading back to his bed. I could fix this. It would be easy. There are other things we could do, without going all the way. I checked my phone it was only nine-thirty I had plenty of time. On his bed, I pulled my shirt down to cover all exposed skin and held up my head with my right hand. Josh walked in, his head down. He looked up at me and smiled a soft smile. His pupils so large there was a thin, lime green halo around them. I briefly wondered why they were so big.
    He swiped his nose walking toward the bed. “I’m sorry I got so rough. I”—
    “Come here, I know you didn’t mean it. I don’t want to go all the way , but I’m sure we can find something else to do, right?”
    His eyes lit up and his lips stretched into a wide, crooked grin. He squatted down in front of me, sliding his hand up my legs. Looking me in the eyes, he said the three words I was not ready for. “I love you, Reese.”
    NO! No, you don’t! You can’t. Can you? I can’t. We haven’t been together very long.
    “I, um,” I don’t want to lose him or hurt his feelings again. Just go with it Reese. “I love you, too.” I sighed out of defeat.
    He kissed me, soft ly and gently as the butterflies increased, tenfold. I didn’t know how far I would let him go. When he deepened the kiss all coherent thoughts left my mind, I could do this. I was his girlfriend. I just told him I loved him. He knew I didn’t want to go all the way. I trusted him.
    Josh took it slow and caressed my body. Playing with my nipples and trailing his hand down my underwear. Touching what no one had ever touched before. I cringed. He must have noticed because his sweet, raspy voice whispered in my ear. “You said we could do other stuff. I just want to make you feel good.”
    He forced a finger in. I was so dry it hurt, moisture flooded my eyes. I turned my head.