Extraordinary Ernie & Marvellous Maud Read Free

the door he flung it open and gestured grandly. ‘Well, here she is …’
    There was a long silence, which was finally broken by the strangled voice of Super Whiz.
    ‘Desmond, you idiot … That’s a
sheep!’

FOUR

    ‘That’s right!’ said Desmond proudly.
    There was another long silence, broken this time by the sheep herself. ‘What?’ she demanded. ‘Haven’t you ever seen a sheep before?’
    ‘Ah, what’s your name, dear?’ asked Valiant Vera kindly.
    ‘Maud,’ replied the sheep cautiously. ‘Maud?’ squawked Ernie, in the way a parrot would have done. ‘A sidekick called Maud? It doesn’t exactly sound super, does it?’

    ‘It was my great-aunt’s name,’ explained the sheep. ‘My dad thought that if I was named after her she’d leave me all her riches in her will.’
    ‘And did she?’ asked Ernie.
    ‘No,’ said Maud sadly. ‘Sheep don’t have wills.’
    ‘Oh, right. Well, who got all her riches?’
    ‘No one. Sheep don’t have riches either, since they don’t have jobs. That’s why I was so glad to see your advertisement for a sidekick. Right, so who’s my hero? I suppose it’s you, since you’re the only one without a costume,’ she said, looking at Ernie with a sigh. ‘He doesn’t look all that promising, does he?’ she whispered to Super Whiz loudly. She turned back to Ernie. ‘So what’s your name?’
    ‘Ernie.’
    ‘Ernie? Well, if you don’t mind my saying so, “Ernie” isn’t exactly the type of name to stop evil in its tracks either.’
    ‘I was named after an aunt too,’ Ernie said.
    ‘Really?’ asked Maud. ‘Was your aunt a man, then?’
    ‘No,’ mumbled Ernie, embarrassed. ‘Her name is Ernestine. She’s rich, but she’s not dead yet.’
    ‘Oh, that’s a shame,’ said Maud sympathetically.
    ‘Look, I’m terribly sorry,’ said Ernie politely, looking around at the superheroes and then at Maud, ‘but I don’t think this is going to work. It’s just that, no offence, I was hoping for, you know, a
cooler
sidekick. Like … I don’t know…’ Ernie paused. Suddenly a parrot didn’t seem all that cool either. ‘A big black dog or something.’
    ‘A big black dog?’ echoed Maud. ‘That just shows your lack of imagination.’
    ‘Or a … a … a tiger,’ said Ernie desperately. ‘After all, what can a
sheep
do?’
    ‘What can a sheep do?’ Maud said. ‘What can
you
do?’

    Luckily, she didn’t wait for an answer.
    ‘I’m a fast runner,’ said Maud. She trotted briskly up and down the length of the room a couple of times, hooves clattering on the wooden floor.
    Valiant Vera and Housecat Woman both nodded approvingly.
    ‘I can speak several languages.’
    Super Whiz looked impressed.
    ‘And if I do say so myself, I have the gift of the gab and a large helping of charm.’
    She winked at Amazing Desmond, who winked back.
    They all looked at Ernie expectantly.
    Ernie hesitated.
    ‘Oh, that’s right.’ Maud clapped a hoof to her woolly forehead. ‘You wanted cool. I’ve got just the thing.’ Maud stuck her nose into her woolly front and rummaged around for a few seconds. She emerged wearing a jaunty grin and a pair of black sunglasses. ‘Better?’

    Ernie grinned back half-heartedly. He supposed being a superhero with a smart sheep for a sidekick was better than not being a superhero at all. ‘Sure.’
    ‘So what’s your superhero name, partner?’
    ‘Um, Extraordinary Ernie.’
    ‘Extraordinary Ernie? Oh I like that. Good, so we’ll be Extraordinary Ernie and Marvellous Maud.’
    ‘Well,’ said Super Whiz, ‘our new recruits might not be
everything
I would have hoped for …’
    ‘They’ll be fine,’ said Valiant Vera firmly. ‘Now let’s get you two kitted up.’
    She opened the door to the storeroom, and Ernie stared in wonder at racks and racks of suits and tights and capes in a dazzling kaleidoscope of colours and sizes.
    ‘Baxter Branch used to have dozens of members,’ Vera explained, ‘so we needed