Even Villains Fall in Love Read Free

Not a week’s notice to
clone a minion, and not a week I can sacrifice in work time. It’s
almost November.”
    “We could slow time,” Hert suggested. His foot
bounced up to keep Delila from crawling under his arm.
    Blessing tugged on Evan’s pant leg. “Daddy, can
I go downstairs?”
    “Now, sweetie, what does Mommy say about going
to the lab?”
    Folding her arms, she pouted. “Not unless
Daddy’s with you.”
    “Right. Is Daddy in the lab, sweetheart?”
    Blessing tilted her head to the side in an exact
imitation of her mother. He needed to win the election, if nothing
else he needed the Secret Service guarding his girls before they
went to school.
    “Daddy?” Blessing asked. “Will you go to your
lab? Please?”
    Evan groaned in dismay. “That’s cheating!”
    “We could put them to work, Master.”
    “There are child labor laws,” Evan said. “Even
if I ignored the laws, what could they do?”
    “Sort widgets,” Hert said promptly.
    His daughters danced around him. “Fine. Girls?
We are going to Daddy’s lab. Only touch something if Daddy says
it’s okay. Understand?”
    “Yes, Daddy!” they chorused before rushing Hert
like the offensive line at the Pro-Bowl and charging down the
stairs.
    “Hert?”
    “Sir?”
    “Keep them away from the machines.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “And the knives,” Evan said as he hurried down
the stairs.
    “Yes, sir.”
    “And the blow torches.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “And the screw drivers.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “And the electrical outlets.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “And the drafting pencils.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “And the lasers.”
    “The lasers are out in the desert for Minion
Field Day, sir.”
    “Hert,” Evan said as the girls ran into his lab
and stopped next to the Agree-With-Me Ray with appreciative “oo’s”
and “ah’s.”
    “Sir?”
    He looked at a lifetime of notations on a
collection of whiteboards, lines of meticulously maintained tools
for his engineering projects, and glowing vats waiting for his next
minion. “Keep the girls away from everything.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    Evan took a deep breath of the cold laboratory
air and all his neurons began firing. Here, surrounded by diagrams
and machines, he wasn’t the geek caught flat-footed who didn’t know
the answer or how to make pancakes. In the lab, he reigned supreme,
ready to mete out swift judgment and tackle everything.
    On the far side of the room, nearest to the
subterranean exit, sat his new machine: the Election Ray. The
Agree-With-Me Ray’s older, better-looking brother, the Election Ray
didn’t need close proximity to work, it just need waves of some
form. Airwaves, electric waves, radio waves, and cell phone waves
all worked to project a single message throbbing into the
unsuspecting minds of humanity.
    Early results were promising. For the first
test, he’d sent a message encouraging everyone to buy purple Banala
Babes Dolls. Stores had sold out, but only of red and blue. People
had bought the dolls in pairs and hadn’t touched the purple.
Fine-tuning was in progress.
    The rebuilt Agree-With-Me Ray sat in another
corner under bulletproof glass. He had fond memories of that
machine, but the original was too bulky for use as anything but a
museum piece. A smaller version shaped like an obsidian statue of
the Greek goddess Nike sat beside the first, also under glass.
Three industrious minions were working on the latest version as per
the specs he’d drawn up the day before—all the power of the
original Agree-With-Me Ray streamlined to fit into a stylish
wristwatch.
    “Daddy?” Delila ran to him. “What’s a widget and
when can I sort one?”
    “Hert!”
    “Master?”
    “Give them something to sort.”
    “Yes, Master.” Hert obediently found a jar of
mixed screws and nuts, dumped it on the concrete floor, and sat
with the girls to help them sort the contents.
    Evan watched for a moment before heading to his
favorite invention: the Morality Machine with its ability to