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began to enter a kind of paradise, the feelings grew in intensity, until she notice that she could no longer see or hear clearly, everythin appeared to be tinged with yellow, and then she moane with pleasure and had her first orgasm.
    Orgasm!
    It was like floating up to heaven and then parachuting
     slowly down to earth again. Her body was drenched in sweat, but she felt complete, fulfilled and full of energy. If that was what sex was! How wonderful! Not like in erotic
     magazines in which everyone talked about pleasure, but seemed to be grimacing in pain. And no need for a man who liked a woman's body, but had no time for her feelings She
     could do it on her own! She did it again, this time imagining that a famous movie star was touching her, and once more she floated up to paradise and parachuted down
     again, feeling even more energised. Just as she was about to do it for a third time, her mother came home.
    Maria talked to her girlfriends about her new discovery, but saying that she had only discovered it a few hours before. All of them - apart from two - knew what she was
     talking about, but none of them had ever dared to raise the subject. It was Maria's turn to feel like a revolutionary, to
     be the leader of the group, inventing an absurd 'secret confidential game, which involved asking everyone their favourite method of masturbation. She learned various
     different techniques, like lying under the covers in the heat
     of summer (because, one of her friends assured her, sweating helped), using a goose feather to touch yourself there (she didn't yet know what the place was called), letting a boy do
     it to you (Maria thought this unnecessary), using the spray n the bidet (she didn't have one at home, but she would try to
     as soon as she visited one of her richer friends).
    Anyway, once she had discovered masturbation and learned a
     few of the techniques suggested by her friends, she abandoned forever the idea of a religious life. Masturbation have her enormous pleasure, and yet the Church seemed to imply that
     sex was the greatest of sins. She heard various tales from those same girlfriends: masturbation gave you spots, could
     lead to madness or even pregnancy. Nevertheless, despite all these risks, she continued to pleasure herself at least once
     a week, usually on Wednesdays, when her father went out to play cards with his friends.
    At the same time, she grew more and more insecure in her relationships with boys, and more and more determined
     to leave the place where she lived. She fell in love a
     third time and a fourth, she knew how to kiss now, and when she was alone with her boyfriends, she touched them an allowed herself to be touched, but something always wer
     wrong, and the relationship would end precisely at the moment when she was sure that this was the person with whom she
     wanted to spend the rest of her life. After a long time, she came to the conclusion that men brought on pain, frustration, suffering and a sense of time draggin One afternoon, watching a mother playing with her two year-old son, she decided that she could still think about husband, children and a house with a sea-view, but that she would never fall in love again, because love spoiled everything.
    And so Maria's adolescent years passed. She grew prettier and prettier, and her sad, mysterious air brought her many suitors. She went out with one boy and with another, and
     dreamed and suffered - despite her promise to herself ever to fall in love again. On one such date, she lost her virginity
     on the back seat of a car; she and her boyfriend were
     touching each other with more than usual ardour, the boy got very worked up, and she, weary of being the only virgin amongst her group of friends, allowed him to penetrate her. Unlike masturbation, which took her up to eaven, this hurt
     her and caused a trickle of blood which left a stain on her skirt that took ages to wash out. There wasn't the magical sensation of her first kiss -