Eggs with Legs Read Free

“And the best part is, itisn’t
real
mean or nasty, it’s just a little bit nasty. I mean my mom and dad wouldn’t like us to do something really bad.”
    “I don’t think we should tell them, though,” said Mary Beth.
    “Of course not!” said Molly.
    Mary Beth ran to get her perfumed notes and envelopes, the ones with the flowers on them.
    “I’ll do the writing,” said Molly. “I think we should write at least three mushy notes and put them in his mailbox one at a time.”
    “We could put one in his desk,” said Mary Beth.
    “Good idea,” said Molly. She wrote, “Dear Roger,” and then she frowned. “I don’t know how to write mushy stuff,” she said.
    “Let’s go down to the drugstore andlook at the greeting cards,” said Mary Beth. “We can copy those.”
    The girls dashed downtown. There were racks and racks of cards in the store. They went to the ones that said “Husbands, Wives, Loved Ones.” One by one they read them.
    “Here’s a good one!” said Molly. “Listen. ‘I dream of you all night and day. Come be my love and make my day. Happy birthday.’ ”
    “Let’s leave off the ‘happy birthday’ part,” said Mary Beth sensibly.
    Molly copied the rest of it. “We need two more,” she said.
    “Here is an anniversary greeting ‘to my wife,’ ” said Mary Beth. “We can just use the verse. ‘You’ve been by my side, through joy and tears. Let’s love each other for many more years.’ ”
    “Have we been by his side?” asked Molly, frowning.
    Mary Beth stamped her foot. “This is a trick,” she said. “It’s not a lie-detector test!”
    “Okay,” said Molly. “Now number three.”
    “ ‘For one I love from afar,’ ” read Mary Beth. “ ‘A secret pal.’ ” She picked it up.
    “ ‘I’ve loved you in secret, my heart has been true. Call me your kitten, if you love me too. Your secret pal.’ I think this is the best one. We should send it last.”
    “But he can’t call us his kitten, he won’t know who it is,” said Molly.
    “That doesn’t matter!” said Mary Beth. “That’s the joke! He keeps getting these love notes but he’ll never know who sent them! That’s a great April Fools’ trick.”
    “Is it too mean?” asked Molly.
    Mary Beth shook her head. “It won’t
hurt
him,” she said. “He can just throw them away and not show them to anyone. But it will make him mad, nonetheless.”
    “Okay,” said Molly, copying all three cards. Just as she was finishing, a clerk came over and said, “You’re supposed to buy the cards, not copy them.”
    “We’re just leaving,” said Mary Beth sweetly.
    Mary Beth seems better at planning tricks than I am, thought Molly.
    When they got back to Mary Beth’s, Molly copied the three verses on three different pieces of Mary Beth’s flowered smelly stationery. They put each into an envelope and wrote “Roger White” on the front.
    “Thursday is April Fools’,” Molly said. “Let’s deliver them the night before.”
    On Wednesday after school, the girlswent to Roger’s house. When no one was around, Molly snuck up to the mailbox and slipped the first envelope into the box. Then the girls ran home.
    At school the next day they waited until recess. Then Mary Beth handed Molly the second envelope. She slipped it into Roger’s desk on top of his binder. Then they went out to play.
    After recess they kept their eyes on Roger. They saw him take his binder out. Then he saw the card. It dropped to the floor and he picked it up. He opened it and sniffed it and turned red. Then he put it back in his desk.
    “This is a great trick!” said Mary Beth, laughing, on the way home. “He has no idea who it is who loves him!”
    “I wonder if he got the first one,” said Molly.
    “Of course he did,” said Mary Beth.“Everyone gets their mail. It’s a law. You’ve got to read it.”

    “Where should we put the last one?” asked Molly. “The one that says he should call his secret pal