Dreaming a Reality Read Free

time Jeremy would wake, wanting to be bottle fed. The routine was perfect. I went back to work at PETCO after maternity leave, while John worked on building a carpentry career. He was always good with his hands and when we first dated would carve out little wooden animals and give them to me. I was fond of whatever he did and very much in love with him.
    As I thought of John, I could smell that the pot roast was almost done. Jeremy was in his bedroom reading when the telephone rang.
    “Hello?”
    “It’s me. How are you, Kat?” said a sleek voice.
    “John!” I said, happily surprised.
    “Yeah, sorry I haven’t called lately—been busy.”
    “That’s okay, John. I got your e-mail,” I said as I untangled myself from the telephone cord.
    “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk with you about that. Jeremy tells me you’re smoking a lot more and not sleeping as much. I hope you’re taking that medication the doctor prescribed.” John sounded vexed.
    “Please, I can handle this, okay?” I felt a potentially heated discussion coming on.
    I didn’t want to get into it, and as John started questioning me a little more, my voice began to rise.
    “Mom, is that Dad?” Jeremy called out from the back room.
    “Yeah, here, you talk to him. I am done with his interrogation.” I handed the phone over to Jeremy as I tried to finish up cleaning in the kitchen.
    I didn’t think it was just that. I questioned myself as to what else it could have been. What had Jeremy been saying to his dad?
    Disappointed, but not surprised, I now knew what was up—me and my behavior.
    I instantly had racing thoughts of how it all started. Trying to remember my changes, I thought back to about a month before, when sleep began to elude me. I knew by not taking my meds, I would become manic and might even have another episode, but I was sick of all the side effects and decided to stop, yet again. I knew I was playing with fire but did it anyway, hoping my nausea and stomach discomfort would go away. No one knew I’d stopped the meds, not even my doctor or therapist. I kept that hidden from everyone—that amongst other things.

Chapter Three
    Friday, and finally done with a full week of working and running back and forth to hockey for Jeremy, I was getting excited about the day.
    Mr. Ming wanted me to check out the Drake Hotel in Chicago and evaluate it for potential clients. As he’d received two tickets from Southwest Airlines, complimentary of the hotel, I decided to ask my friend Jenny as she’d never been to the Windy City before. It was a good deal I got from my job, one of many I received.
    Jenny and I had been friends since early grade school, and I remember when I first met her. A tall, lanky girl with curly brown hair, she’d been standing at the corner of my block. She’d asked me for directions after I nearly collided into her with my bike, yet Jenny didn’t seem to mind; in fact, she laughed at my riding skills.
    I decided, while preparing for the trip, to take my mood stabilizer again. I took it even though it caused some dizziness and stomach discomfort. At least it was helping me sleep a little better, and that was what mattered most at this moment, and after I’d spoken with John, I figured it was about due time to take my medication. I was still upset at his accusations, yet knew he was right. I didn’t want to scare Jeremy any more than I had been lately.
    While I packed a few of my dresses and make-up kit, I noticed a few e-mails had come in, so I sat down to read them. It was nice to receive another one from Dean, and I thought how refreshing it was to talk to him.
    Although we’d only chatted a few times earlier in the week, I was interested and, after viewing his profile, increasingly intrigued. The picture he’d posted wasn’t bad, so long as it was really him and not his good-looking younger brother, or him thirty years ago. His profile read: Just looking for a good friendship, which is difficult to find, let