Dirty Secrets Read Free

breath.
    “What?” 
    “What exactly do you need me to help you with?” 
    “It’s our first quarter board member’s meeting.  I need some fresh ideas to present to the board, especially since our sales have slipped because of those damn dancing bears. 
    “I need to finish up a presentation; I have meetings with all the junior assistants and Human Resources.  My scheduled is packed.  I can’t help you,” Adele said. 
    “You work for me. You do what I tell you to do. Give me something like the “Learn While You Go” product line.   It was brilliant,” Mindy said, referring to the line of educational toilet paper for potty training toddlers Adele developed last year. 
    “The product line I created,” Adele said.
    “Sour grapes don’t look good on you,” Mindy said. 
    “Are we done here?  I have work to do.”
    Mindy ignored Adele and continued talking.  “What about lemon scented toilet paper made with the giant lemons from papa’s orchard in the Amalfi Coast?” 
    “Lemon scented toilet paper?” Adele said, almost feeling sorry for Mindy.
    Mindy’s voice raised at least three octaves, and her eyes twinkled like a child expecting a reward for taking their first pooh in the potty.
    “I thought of it last night,” she said.
    “Were you smoking?” 
    “It’s a revolutionary idea,” Mindy said. 
    Adele twisted a curl and debated on whether or not to tell the truth.  Mindy’s eyes never left hers.  
    “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  Adele stepped on the land-mine.
    “Who would want to use boring unscented toilet paper when you can smell like fresh lemons from the coast of Italy down there?   Check out the   tagline: The Amalfi Coast, it’s behind you every step of the way when you use Corentini's lemon scented toilet paper.”
    Adele’s mouth fell open.  The sound quickly intensified in Adele’s head as Mindy tapped her pen against her marble desk in anticipation. 
    “Ummm…” 
    “What do you know?  You’re an overrated paper pusher!” 
    “I know I don’t want my ass smelling like lemons.  I think most of the free world would agree with me.  The board would have bounced your plastic ass out of here a long time ago if it weren’t for me. You bask in all of the glory while I do all the work.  You’re rude, bossy, and ungrateful.   You never say please or thank you.”
    Adele’s verbal explosion rocked Mindy’s office.   
    “I don’t have to say please.  I’m the boss.  I’d watch it if I were you.”  Mindy said.
    “I’ll give you something you can watch.  You can watch my ass leave your office, you raging pothead!  It’s like an episode of bosses gone wild in here.  Newsflash, pot is supposed to mellow you out not turn you into a snarling wildebeest.  If you haven’t already guessed…..I quit.”  Adele said. 
    “I don’t need you.  I could find thirty more executive assistants just like you,” Mindy said. 
    “You go right ahead.  P.S.  No one likes you,” Adele fired one last insult at her former boss before storming out of her office. 
    Chapter 4
      Adele slammed Mindy’s door, opened it, gave her   the finger   and slammed it again for good   measure. The gravity of the situation hit her with the speed and accuracy of a fastball thrown by Roger Clemens.  Her legs shook like jello, and she was sure  Snoop Dog could write lyrics to the beat of her pulsating heart.  Under the sedation of joblessness, Adele walked by Robynne, who had her knee primed for attack against an unsuspecting copier.
    “Tell the Dark One this copier is on its last legs,” Robynne said.
    “Uh huh,” Adele’s fragmented steps resembled those of a bride walking down the aisle. 
    “Adele, it’s called walking.  What’s wrong with you?” Robynne said. 
    She snapped her fingers several times, a gesture which only served to further irritate Adele.
    “Fuck,” Adele responded. 
    She looked over her shoulder to find Mindy perched