Dick Longg: Sexual Saviour of the Universe Read Free Page A

transported themselves one hundred and fifty years into the future where they established a new society’. Dick went to open his lips but Alice interrupted him.
    ‘I know what you’re about to ask… how did a few influential men change society so radically and so quickly?’.
    In truth, that wasn’t what Dick wasn’t going to ask. That question would have been too insightful for him, but it gave Alice the chance to explain what had happened in the future - and a way for this author to sneak in some exposition without it appearing too contrived. In any case, the reasons how and why certain Victorian gentlemen time-travelled to the year 2046 is not that important. It’s a MacGuffin. You know, a plot device like the actual Maltese Falcon in the film of the same name or the stolen money in Psycho. What these Victorian gentlemen did, however, is key to this story and far, far more important. Anyway, for the sake of both Dick and those readers who want some background information, Alice explained what had happened.
    ‘The facts are imprecise’, she said. ‘Much of the history of that time is unclear and that which does exist, has almost certainly been re-written. However, what we can deduce is that soon after this group of men travelled to the future, they infiltrated the top echelons of British society, eventually forming a new political party while keeping their identities and origins a complete secret’.          
    Dick frowned the sort of frown a kitten makes as it paws at a mouse on a television screen. Noting his reaction, Alice decided to keep the explanation simple.
    ‘By 2050, society was in decline and family life was being eroded. Crime was rising, particularly among the young, and there was a general lack of respect and discipline. Political parties were indistinguishable. Polices were weak and bland. Their leaders were anonymous, spineless and lacklustre. The public wanted change and they embraced the so-called ‘New Victorians’ and their manifesto of good family values, law and order, a strong work ethic and a willingness to help the less fortunate. They had a charismatic leader who achieved almost celebrity status. What started as a popular movement for reform soon developed into a full grown political party that swept into power - and which has been the ruling the country in various forms for the last hundred years or so’.
    Dick was half listening to Alice and half counting to himself, trying to work out if a minute had passed. He thought it had.    
    ‘There’s virtually no opposition to their policies and the Party, as they’re known, run Great Britain as a sort of benevolent dictatorship. Their current leader is a mysterious man who is rarely seen in public’. Alice halted her explanation and stared at Dick. By the way he was mouthing numbers it was obvious he wasn’t paying full attention. Alice gave him the slap round the face she had recently resisted and which she felt he now deserved.
    ‘Listen to what I’m saying’, she pleaded. ‘I live in this world. A world shaped by Victorian ethics and morals!’.
    By now Dick had given up trying to count in his head and was considering what Alice had said.
    ‘Is that so bad?’, he enquired, mainly out of politeness as he still didn’t believe a single word Alice was saying.
                          ‘Well not all of it. As I said, we live by strong values... but there’s also a downside. The Party don’t believe in promiscuity or relationships out of wedlock. They claim it contributes to the ruin of society’.
    Alice paused again for dramatic effect. ‘The result is that there is virtually no sex’.
    If Dick’s disbelief had been suspended, it just came crashing back down rather heavily. Now Alice had his full and undivided attention. A world without sex? It wasn’t worth thinking about. And it definitely wasn’t worth living in.
    ‘I can’t believe that!’, Dick said, slightly distraught. ‘You’re making it