Delphi Complete Works of Aristophanes (Illustrated) (Delphi Ancient Classics)

Delphi Complete Works of Aristophanes (Illustrated) (Delphi Ancient Classics) Read Free

Book: Delphi Complete Works of Aristophanes (Illustrated) (Delphi Ancient Classics) Read Free
Author: Aristophanes
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succour us with such a host that the Athenians would exclaim, “What a cloud of grasshoppers!”
    DICAEOPOLIS. May I die if I believe a word of what you tell us! Excepting the grasshoppers, there is not a grain of truth in it all!
    THEORUS. And he has sent you the most warlike soldiers of all Thrace.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Now we shall begin to see clearly.
    HERALD. Come hither, Thracians, whom Theorus brought.
    DICAEOPOLIS. What plague have we here?
    THEORUS. ’Tis the host of the Odomanti.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Of the Odomanti? Tell me what it means. Who has mutilated their tools like this?
    THEORUS. If they are given a wage of two drachmae, they will put all
Boeotia to fire and sword.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Two drachmae to those circumcised hounds! Groan aloud, ye people of rowers, bulwark of Athens! Ah! great gods! I am undone; these Odomanti are robbing me of my garlic! Will you give me back my garlic?
    THEORUS. Oh! wretched man! do not go near them; they have eaten garlic.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Prytanes, will you let me be treated in this manner, in my own country and by barbarians? But I oppose the discussion of paying a wage to the Thracians; I announce an omen; I have just felt a drop of rain.
    HERALD. Let the Thracians withdraw and return the day after to-morrow; the Prytanes declare the sitting at an end.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Ye gods, what garlic I have lost! But here comes Amphitheus returned from Lacedaemon. Welcome, Amphitheus.
    AMPHITHEUS. No, there is no welcome for me and I fly as fast as I can, for I am pursued by the Acharnians.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Why, what has happened?
    AMPHITHEUS. I was hurrying to bring your treaty of truce, but some old dotards from Acharnae got scent of the thing; they are veterans of Marathon, tough as oak or maple, of which they are made for sure — rough and ruthless. They all set to a-crying, “Wretch! you are the bearer of a treaty, and the enemy has only just cut our vines!” Meanwhile they were gathering stones in their cloaks, so I fled and they ran after me shouting.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Let ‘em shout as much as they please! But have you brought me a treaty?
    AMPHITHEUS. Most certainly, here are three samples to select from, this one is five years old; take it and taste.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Faugh!
    AMPHITHEUS. Well?
    DICAEOPOLIS. It does not please me; it smells of pitch and of the ships they are fitting out.
    AMPHITHEUS. Here is another, ten years old; taste it.
    DICAEOPOLIS. It smells strongly of the delegates, who go round the towns to chide the allies for their slowness.
    AMPHITHEUS. This last is a truce of thirty years, both on sea and land.
    DICAEOPOLIS. Oh! by Bacchus! what a bouquet! It has the aroma of nectar and ambrosia; this does not say to us, “Provision yourselves for three days.” But it lisps the gentle numbers, “Go whither you will.” I accept it, ratify it, drink it at one draught and consign the Acharnians to limbo. Freed from the war and its ills, I shall keep the Dionysia in the country.
    AMPHITHEUS. And I shall run away, for I’m mortally afraid of the
Acharnians.
    CHORUS. This way all! Let us follow our man; we will demand him of everyone we meet; the public weal makes his seizure imperative. Ho, there! tell me which way the bearer of the truce has gone; he has escaped us, he has disappeared. Curse old age! When I was young, in the days when I followed Phayllus, running with a sack of coals on my back, this wretch would not have eluded my pursuit, let him be as swift as he will; but now my limbs are stiff; old Lacratides feels his legs are weighty and the traitor escapes me. No, no, let us follow him; old Acharnians like ourselves shall not be set at naught by a scoundrel, who has dared, great gods! to conclude a truce, when I wanted the war continued with double fury in order to avenge my ruined lands. No mercy for our foes until I have pierced their hearts like a sharp reed, so that they dare never again ravage my vineyards. Come, let us seek the rascal; let us look everywhere, carrying our

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