Deep Surrendering: Episode Four Read Free

you have a scientific study to back up that assertion?” Finally. The sweet joking Fin was starting to come back. I missed him.
    “Of course I do. I would never say something like that without having scientific findings to back me up. Unfortunately, I don’t have them on me, but I’ll fax you a copy.”
    He sighed. “Marisol,” Fin said, setting down his spoon. “This isn’t going to work. This distraction.”
    “Well, it won’t if you set your spoon down.” I scooped up some more ice cream and put it in my mouth.
    “Marisol.” His voice was sharp and I looked up from the ice cream container.
    “Look, I’m doing my best here. I used my safeword because you looked so uncomfortable and scared, and I don’t want that for us. I want us to be open and able to talk to each other. I could feel you pulling away from me.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “No, I’m sorry. I’m not currently accepting sorrys from you. Have some ice cream.” I loaded up my spoon and held it out for him. “It’s going to melt, hurry up.” Some dripped on the counter, but I didn’t pull my hand back.
    He hesitated but then opened his mouth and I stuck the spoon in.
    “You’ve got something on your face,” I said as some of the ice cream dripped down his chin.
    “Where? Here?” He pointed to his forehead, and I could feel the energy from our first date returning. “Or how about here?” He pointed to his left cheek.
    “No. Here,” I said, swiping my thumb across his chin, gathering the excess ice cream. Before I could draw my hand back, he grabbed my wrist and dipped my finger into his mouth, licking it clean.
    Fin sucked on my thumb and the energy shifted again.
    “Stop doing that,” I said, and he removed my finger from his mouth. “No, not that. You can definitely keep doing that.” I plunged it into his mouth again.
    “Do you like that?” he asked, speaking around my thumb.
    “Uh huh.”
    And just as things had changed and I thought we were headed back to the bedroom, he gave my hand back.
    “We shouldn’t.”
    It was so hard not to get upset and yell at him. Patience wasn’t normally one of my virtues, but somehow I managed it when I was with Fin.
    “You started it. I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here, Fin. You need to stop doing that to me. I’m not a light switch you can turn on and turn off. You’re confused and it’s confusing me. And don’t apologize for it. I think we should just end things here for tonight and I should go home.” So much for the ice cream distraction.
    “I think that’s a good idea,” he said.
    I should have just done the candle party. Chlo was going to be disappointed when I told her about our date flop. It had started out so well, and then had gotten derailed.
    “I had fun dancing with you,” I said, realizing I needed to put the rest of my clothes on so I could get home. I’d definitely attract too much attention wearing just my shirt.
    “So did I. I wish that I could give you what you want.”
    “I’m sorry that I pushed you into something you weren’t ready for. I think we just need to take some time to regroup.” There wasn’t much time left, and I would be damned if I let him leave before we somehow worked things out. It definitely wasn’t going to end like this.
    I wouldn’t let it.

 
     
     
     
     

     
    Carl drove me home, despite my protests. He hummed to himself as he drove back to my apartment.
    “How long have you worked for Fin?” I asked, feeling the need to break the silence.
    “Well, I started working for his father and then Fin inherited my services.”
    “Oh.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It made him sound like a china cabinet and not a person.
    “They’re very good employers, Miss Everly. I wouldn’t want to work for anyone else. And Fin is a good man, no matter what anyone says about him.”
    I leaned forward in my seat so I could hear him better.
    “What do people say about him?” If I was still floating in the upper