Dave Trellis and the Allotments of Doom Read Free Page A

pointing directly at
Fergus.
    Dave stepped
over to Fergus’s side. ‘What’s your name lad?
    Fergus managed
to say his name in a cracked voice.
    ‘Good,’ said
Dave, ‘Fergus, I wish to introduce Enoch, first of the troupe, a
Palaver of great renown.’ Dave turned to face Enoch. ‘This is
Fergus, least of all, a human of unknown talent.’
    Dave nudged
Fergus in the ribs, ‘Bow lad, don’t they teach you manners these
days?’
    Fergus bowed
and Enoch nodded in return. The huge sword in Enoch’s hand swept
backwards and disappeared.
    Dave dipped his
head towards Fergus and said in a low voice. ‘They won’t kill you
if you’ve been introduced, well not without asking permission
first. So shut up, do nothing and stand a few paces behind me.’
    ‘What’s going
on?’ whispered Fergus, ‘This is crazy. Who are these people and
where did they come from?’
    ‘I’ll explain
later, just don’t go blathering, or running around; you’ll just die
out of breath.’
    ‘All very nice
Dave,’ said Enoch, ‘But no time, something big coming. Where are
doggies?’
    ‘They must have
known it were you and scarpered; sensitive noses them dogs.’
    ‘Funny man! I
wake them.’ Enoch yelled ‘Arrrooogaaahh.’ It made Fergus’s ears
ring.
    From all over
the allotments twenty or so dark blue, not-Labrador dogs ran
towards the group.
    Enoch burst out
laughing. ‘Here little doggy dog dogs.’
    Enoch dropped
to all fours and the leading dog ran straight at him, lowered its
head, and smacked into Enoch’s helmet with substantial force.
    ‘Bonkah little
doggy,’ shouted Enoch. He barked, growled, and grabbed the dog
around the middle and they rolled around on the ground.
    ‘I thought you
said there was no time,’ said Dave.
    ‘Heh heh, time
for friends Dave, else why live?’
    Enoch stood up
and held out his hand to the lead dog. ‘You got it?’
    The dog dropped
something from its mouth into Enoch’s outstretched hand.
    Fergus only
caught a glimpse; it looked like a small silver cylinder with one
end glowing bright red. Enoch handed it to Dave, who stared at it,
sighed, and shook his head.
    ‘No. Not again.
It’s almost the same day for pity’s sake,’ said Dave.
    Enoch looked at
Dave; there was a determined grin on his face. ‘What else is there
Dave? And who else decides?’
    Dave glanced at
Enoch, who nodded slightly. For a moment Dave hesitated then he
shouted, ‘Right. To the pavilion, parade order.’
    Everybody
moved, except Fergus. Dave grabbed his arm.
    ‘Run, up
there.’
    Dave pointed
and pushed Fergus, who lurched into a jog, but soon sped up as Dave
shot past him.
    Fergus was
amazed. The top terrace was an Edwardian garden with a huge lawn
and wide herbaceous borders at the rear. A big green pavilion stood
at the back. Dave ran straight to the front door of the pavilion
and disappeared inside. Fergus arrived at the veranda out of breath
and sat in one of the high backed wicker chairs stood either side
of the door.
    The Palavers,
their uniforms now dark blue, stood at attention in two neat ranks
at each end of the pavilion. All the dogs disappeared, except one
that sat staring at the courtyard below.
    Dave
re-appeared, dressed in a clean, pressed brown shop coat, grey
muffler, and flat cap. There were pens and a small slide rule in
the breast pocket, on the other side was a small row of miniature
dress medals.
    The beautiful
voice started singing ‘Rule Britannia’ again. Dave dropped into the
other chair, which creaked.
    ‘Now lad, we
are going to do a ‘Queen Victoria’. Sit with your hands in your
lap, smile, and say nowt.’
     
     
    The courtyard
glowed green and the light brightened through the spectrum. The
strange floating sensation came and Fergus watched the courtyard
below. Something appeared.
    ‘Holy shit!’
said Fergus and started to stand.
    Dave reached
over, grabbed him, and stared into his face.
    ‘Sit down and
shut up or I’ll get Enoch to cut your balls off.’
    Dave