Daisy and the Trouble with Life Read Free

trouble with party sandwiches : if you don’t take three or four all at once, other children will take all the nice ones.

    Billy Laine said he had real bat’s blood in his sandwiches. But it wasn’t. It was raspberry jam.
    So Vicky hit him on the head too.
    And then she poked Jenny Pearson in the back for having a witch’s nose.
    Vicky Carrow’s hooley-hooley stick got taken away in the end.
    Actually, so did Vicky Carrow.
    The trouble with ghost sheets is they make you ever so hot.

    I was really sweating by the time my mum came to collect me. When I took it off outside by the car, my face went all cold in the fresh air.
    Mum jumped when I took my sheet off, and pretended I was more scary without my sheet on. I only smiled a bit. I didn’t laugh, because she’s done that joke before.
    When I got home after the party, I couldn’t get to sleep, but when I did, I had a dream about skeletons. Which definitely are real because I saw one in an actual book at school once. Everything in school books has to be real. It’s the law.
    Anyway, in my dream four skeletons were chasing me!!!! And they were bouncing on big cucumbers like pogo sticks and trying to catch me!
    It was really scary but there was nothing I could do, because the trouble with bad dreams is you always have to fall over before you can wake up.

    But the more I tried to fall over, the more I stayed up. And the closer the skeletons got!
    In the end I just closed my eyes and jumped . . .
    My mum jumped too when I landed in her bed. She said she was right in the middle of a really nice dream about a handsome prince, who was just about to give her his phone number, when I had woken her up and made him drop his pen.
    Which did make me laugh and smile a bit, and forget about the skeletons, because I hadn’t heard that joke before. Hold on, I think I need to go to the loo again . . .

Still Chapter 10
    Actually no, I don’t. I just thought I did. I’m OK.
    In fact I think I’m beginning to feel a bit better!
    Last night after I was sent to bed I didn’t have any dreams at all. My tummy was too busy gurgling.
    The trouble with gurgles is they sound really loud when they’re your own gurgles. Especially if they’re germ gurgles.

    Germ gurgles are much more gurglier than normal gurgles.
    By the time I’d thrown all my toys at the wall last night, and finished looking at my comic, and pulled all the whiskers off my rabbit (don’t worry, he’s a toy), my tummy sounded like it was a growling wolf.
    When it was evening, Mum came up and pulled my curtains and told me never to pick anything up off the floor again apart from all my toys in the morning. Then she sat on my bed and listened.
    She said my tummy sounded like a witch’s pot and that trouble was brewing. And she said I only had myself to blame. She said if I hadn’t been so naughty and put that dirty sweet in my mouth and eaten it, none of this would have happened.
    That’s the trouble with mums .

    In the end, they’re always right. And I’m wrong – I do need to go again . . .

Chapter 11
    The trouble with loo rolls is they always run out when you don’t want them to.

    When I ran to the loo the first time last night, I went past Mum’s bedroom really really quietly.
    That way, she wouldn’t know the dib-dab germs had got me.
    And that way, in the morning I could pretend there never were any germs on that dib-dab. So then Mum would feel really bad about telling me off in the first place. So would Nanny and Grampy and Auntie Sue and Mrs Pike and Tiptoes!!!!!
    Trouble is, when I turned the light on in the bathroom, the loo roll was all gone, apart from the cardboard bit in the middle. And I couldn’t use that because . . . well I couldn’t. And anyway, I always save that bit for Gabby’s hamster. Gabby’s hamster loves eating empty loo rolls.
    So I had no