Cravings Read Free

his time with me for granted. The moment I thought it, I knew it
wasn't true. It wasn't even fair. So why had I thought it at all? Because I am a
master at screwing up my own love life. If something works too well, I've got to
poke at it, prod it, until it breaks, or bites me. I was trying not to do that
anymore, but old habits, especially bad ones, die hard.
    Micah moved off down the line, and Detective Arnet gave me a questioning look
out of her heavily painted but lovely eyes. She opened her mouth as if to ask if
I were alright, but the next person in line distracted her. Nathaniel was
distracting, no doubt about that.
    Jessica Arnet was a few inches taller than Nathaniel's 5' 6", so she had to
look down to meet that lavender gaze. No exaggeration on the color. His eyes
weren't blue, but truly a pale purple, lavender, spring lilacs. He wore a
banded-collar shirt that was almost the same color as his eyes, so the lavender
was even more vibrant; drowningly beautiful, those eyes.
    He offered his hand, but she hugged him. Hugged him, because I think for the
first time she was in a public situation where no one would think it was
strange. So she hugged him, because she could.
    There was a fraction of a moment's hesitation, then he hugged her back, but
he turned his head so he could look at me. His eyes said clearly, Help me.
    She hadn't done that much yet, just a hug where a handshake would have done,
but the look in Nathaniel's eyes was much more serious than what she'd done. As
if it bothered him more than it should have. Since in his day job he's a
stripper, you'd think he'd be used to women pawing him. Of course, maybe that
was the point. He wasn't at work.
    She stayed molded to his body, and he stayed holding, with only that mute
look in his eyes to say he was unhappy.
    His body seemed happy and relaxed in the hug. He never showed Jessica Arnet
his confused eyes.
    The hug had gone on longer than was polite, and I finally realized what part
of the problem was. Nathaniel was the least dominant person I'd ever met. He
wanted out of the hug, but he could not be the first one to pull back. Jessica
had to let him go, and she was probably waiting for him to move away, and
getting all the wrong signals from the fact that he wasn't moving away. Shit.
How do I end up with men in my life who have such interesting problems? Lucky, I
guess.
    I held out my hand toward him, and the relief on his face was clear enough
that anyone down the hall would have seen it, and understood it. He kept his
face turned so Jessica never saw that look. It would have hurt her feelings, and
Nathaniel didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Which meant that he didn't see
her shining face, all aglow with what she thought was mutual attraction.
Truthfully, I'd thought Nathaniel liked her, at least a little, but his face
said otherwise. To me, anyway.
    Nathaniel came to my hand like a scared child who's just been saved from the
neighborhood bully. I drew him into a hug, and he clung to me, pressing our
bodies tighter than I would have liked in public, but I couldn't blame him, not
really. He wanted the comfort of physical contact, and I think he'd figured out
that Jessica Arnet had gotten the wrong idea.
    I held him as close as I could, as close as I'd wanted to hold Micah. With
Micah, it might have led to embarrassing things, but not with Nathaniel. With
Nathaniel I could control myself. I wasn't in love with him. I caressed the long
braid of his auburn hair that fell nearly to his ankles. I played with the
braid, as if it were other more intimate things, hoping that Jessica would take
the hint. I should have known that a little extra hugging wouldn't have done the
job.
    I drew back from the hug first, and he kept his gaze on my face. I could
study his face and understand what she saw there, so handsome, so amazingly
beautiful. His shoulders had broadened in the last few months, from weight
lifting, or just the fact