Crampton Read Free Page A

WASHINGTON D.C. - DAY
    The FBI car cruises through downtown Washington.
    INT. CAR - DAY
    Brady driving, Helen in the passenger's seat, uncomfortable silence between them. Brady's chewing his bottom lip, trying to decide whether or not to try to be friendly to this woman. Finally...
    BRADY
    So, Florida, huh?
    HELEN
    Yes.
    BRADY
    Whereabouts?
    HELEN
    Tampa.
    BRADY
    Oh, yeah. Lot of gangs around there. The average age is, what, around seventy-eight? Why do they need a Bureau shop? A rash of denture thefts?
    HELEN
    Every year, American senior citizens are defrauded of over fifty million dollars. Insurance cons. Phantom stocks. Counterfeit lottery tickets. The St. Petersburg area offers a high concentration of financially secure men and women trying to enjoy their golden years. Awfully tempting for scam runners.
    BRADY
    Well, Agent Sweeten, welcome to our nation's capital. We've got your kidnapping, your extortion, your crooked congressmen, your international spies, your violent whackos both foreign and domestic, real terrorism, and let's not forget the most powerful man in the world driving around town like a big-ass bullseye. So, if we see any little old ladies getting rolled for their bingo money, I'll let you take point. Otherwise, Just follow my lead.
    HELEN
    Are you always such a prick?
    BRADY
    Pretty much.
    EXT. JOEY'S GAME ROOM - DAY
    The FBI sedan stops in front of a divey bar on a divey street.
    INT. CAR
    Brady puts it in "park."
    BRADY
    Here's the deal. This bar ... it's a regular hangout for cons. Long con specialists. I'm talking guys who will string a mark along for years before they move, then bleed him dry and be gone before anyone knows it happened. Real stonefaced motherfuckers.
    HELEN
    What, you don't do anything about this?
    BRADY
    This isn't one of your lottery swindles, Sweeten. These guys are like fucking groundhogs--they stick their heads out maybe once, and if they see a shadow they vanish. There was this investigation a few years ago--I managed to pick up a couple of them, but the bastards covered their trail so deep we couldn't make it stick. I kind of got to know them during the case. They're really not that bad ... you know, for thieves. I occasionally come to them for advice in situations like these.
    HELEN
    So they're snitches?
    BRADY
    Yes.
    HELEN
    Why don't you Just come out and say that? Jesus...
    BRADY
    The point is, despite our relationship, the guys in here can he a little jumpy, so just ... play it cool.
    INT. JOEY'S GAME ROOM
    The place is small but clean--a bar, a row of booths, a pool table, and a door that leads to a back room. At the bar, a DARK-HAIRED MAN is talking to a BLOND WOMAN.
    Brady leads Helen inside, making a beeline for the booths. The only other people in the place are sitting at one of the booths; the SNITCHES--one very tall with a ponytail, the other rather short--and two of their CON-MAN BUDDIES.
    BIG SNITCH
    (laughing, to CON BUDDIES)
    ... and the guy says--this is the best part--the guy says, "Can I give you a ride to the airport?" And I say, "Yeah, but can we swing by the bank first?"
    (the CON BUDDIES laugh)
    ... So, he's waiting outside while I empty out his bank account. And he gets a parking ticket! (now they're laughing so hard they're crying) All the rest of the ride, he's telling me about how bad his day is, and I'm thinking, "Buddy, you don't even know."
    Brady and Helen stand next to the booth. The big snitch stops laughing.
    BIG SNITCH
    Shh. It's the Ed-fays.
    The other con artists clam up fast and excuse themselves. Brady slides into the booth next to the little snitch.
    BRADY
    Good morning, gentlemen.
    BIG SNITCH
    Blow me, g-man.
    (to LITTLE SNITCH)
    You--don't say anything .
    The little snitch makes a zipping motion across his lips.
    HELEN
    You're pretty snippy for a snitch.
    The snitches notice her for the first time.
    BIG SNITCH
    We prefer the epithet "paid informant" ... accent on "paid."
    (to BRADY)
    Who is this person? It's not bad enough you make this