Cool School Read Free

am?’
    â€˜Yes,’ you say, and then add: ‘You see, I know about the message in the toilets.’
    â€˜The message?’
    â€˜The heart.’
    Sam goes into hysterical laughter and all Sam’s friends go into hysterical laughter, too. When they’ve finally got control of themselves again you ask, ‘Would someone mind telling me the joke?’
    â€˜Sure,’ Sam says. ‘We were having a competition this morning to put each other’s names in hearts with the biggest nerds we could think of. And Danny here put my name in with yours. Thanks a lot, Danny!’
    And they all burst out laughing again, having to hold each other up to stop from falling on the ground with hysteria.

oming along the corridor is a middle-aged female teacher carrying a briefcase and a pile of books. You realise this is your chance, and it’s the only one you’re going to get. You rush to the teacher’s side.
    â€˜You’ve got too much to carry there,’ you say. ‘Let me help you.’
    â€˜Why, what nice manners,’ she beams. ‘So unusual among young people these days. Thank you.’
    You take the pile of books, and the two of you walk right past the caveman-student, who’s had to move aside to make room for you. ‘Why, thank you,’ you say to him, ‘what nice manners you have. So unusual among young people these days.’ He goes purple in the face and starts rumbling like a small active volcano. But you sweep on by without another look.
    A minute later, as you deliver the teacher to her classroom, the bell rings and you go off to your own class. The morning passes in a blur and it’s not until the lunch bell that you have time to be worried about the Incredible Hulk. You leave the classroom cautiously, peering down the corridor before you step into it. The coast looks clear, so you head for your locker. A few kids look at you strangely: you remember the scene in the bathroom this morning and blush with embarrassment.
    It’ll take you a long time to live that down.
    You get to your locker and everything seems OK. The area is deserted.
    You open the locker to put your books in and realise straight away that it’s not OK after all. There’s some kind of fire bomb in there, and as soon as you open the locker the whole thing bursts into flames. Yikes! This is really dangerous. You look around desperately.
    At one end of the corridor there is a fire alarm button. At the other end there is a cleaner’s cupboard, which you think should contain a tap and some buckets. Which way are you going to go?

oming along the corridor is a kid who’s got to be the smallest kid in the school. He’s like a butter menthol with four limbs. When someone slams a door further down the corridor this kid almost gets blown over.
    You give a deep sigh. He’s not going to be much use. But he surprises you. He walks straight up and says, ‘What seems to be the problem here?’
    He’s got a big deep voice that gets your attention.
    â€˜Uh, no problem,’ you say. ‘Just this maniac here who thinks he owns the school.’
    The little guy looks up at the refrigerator on legs who, you’re amazed to see, is now hanging his head and looking a bit embarrassed.
    â€˜Now now, Cedric,’ he says, ‘that’s enough. Go to class.’ You nearly fall over when Cedric immediately shuffles away down the corridor.
    â€˜Wow, how did you do that?’ you ask.
    He shrugs. ‘Not a problem. I know what Cedric values most in life, and I keep him supplied with it.’
    You ask the obvious question: ‘What does Cedric value most in life?’
    â€˜Basketball cards.’
    â€˜Basketball cards?’
    â€˜That’s right.’
    â€˜But. . .but how do you control the supply of basketball cards?’
    â€˜I have special access to them,’ he says mysteriously. ‘At the end of this week I’m