Choices(Waiting for Forever BK 1) Read Free Page A

choir, or remedial math instead of algebra, but Jamie was a constant throughout my day.
    At that point, it was both a blessing and a curse.
    The thought of sitting next to him, trying to ignore the gnawing guilt in my stomach for the whole lunch hour, was not pleasant. When the bell rang, I told him I had to get my lunch bag from my locker, and I’d meet him in the cafeteria. Of course, there was no bag. I headed past the hallway that led to my locker and kept walking right through the double doors and outside. Sitting on the far side of a large oak away from the few students who had ventured out on the gloomy, overcast day, I noticed that it looked like a storm was threatening, but I didn’t care. Let the skies open up and wash away my sins.
    As I sat outside, away from the watchful eyes of several dozen nosy teenagers and away from Jamie’s baleful stares, I was able to relax a little and breathe again. The panic started to return when I thought of having to hide like this for the next six weeks until school was out. It’s only the end of April now; how the hell am I supposed to keep this up until the beginning of June? If someone started the rumor, or even just insinuated that I spent just a little too much time tagging along after Jamie Mayfield, it could ruin us both. The fear settled in my stomach, rooting itself there, like an infestation of my body and soul.
    Our last class of the day was the generic rotating “extra” electives. That day, it was art. Music was actually my favorite extra elective class, but art wasn’t bad. I enjoyed the creative element, and usually it was a pleasant diversion from the normal boredom that made up our high school curriculum. As Jamie and I walked in, we saw Mr. Barnes in the back of the room setting out supplies. He wore a similar T-shirt, sweater-vest, and khakis to the ones I’d seen him in every Monday since the start of term. It almost screamed “gay,” but everyone in school knew that already; it wasn’t like you couldn’t tell.
    I stopped dead in the doorway, Jamie nearly slamming into me from behind. Mr. Barnes was gay. Everyone knew Mr. Barnes was gay; he just gave off that vibe. Will everyone know about me? I’d never really given it any thought before. Like the pea-green walls of the art room, it had just become background noise. What if he can tell that I think about other guys? Suddenly, I felt sick and fell onto the bench at the picnic table, my skin crawling with a cold sweat.
    Ignoring Jamie completely, I rushed through my charcoal representation of a birdhouse and was cleaning up long before the bell rang. For the remaining twenty minutes of class, feeling Jamie’s worried gaze as he worked, I stared unseeingly out of the classroom window, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do. When class ended, Jamie looked at me once and then left the room without another word.
    I had a feeling I would have to get used to that. It did nothing to help the sick feeling in my stomach.
    “Brian? Could you stick around for a minute?” Mr. Barnes requested quietly as everyone else filed out of the room and into the hall. I looked around wildly at the slowly emptying wooden tables with loose benches, but I didn’t see anyone looking or whispering. No one seemed surprised or even interested in his request. I had to get a hold of myself, or I would be the one to expose my secret.
    Packing up my stuff, I tried to look like everyone else, but I felt trapped, panicky. Once the rest of the class had left the room, I sat back down at the art bench. My breathing was shallow and uneven as I used my nail to pick at a spot of dried paint. Not even having the balls to look him in the eye, I just sat there, waiting for the axe to fall. He knows. He has to know, or why else would he want to talk to me? I’d never been in trouble, never been disrespectful. I felt sick that now everyone else would know too. My life would be over. Maybe the Schreibers would even send me back