Charity Starts at Home Read Free Page A

it made him think about what Haden was going through right now.
     
    *  *  *
    By the time he walked up the stairs from the subway, it was snowing. He had a fair way to walk and his old coat was soaking up the moisture of the melting snow, making him shiver. Since he passed the old church where the AA meeting was going on, he decided to walk inside. They’d just gotten started and Quinn quickly scanned the faces of the men and women in the group before quietly taking a cup of coffee and sitting down at the back. He couldn’t see everyone in the group, but it felt good to be among like-minded people anyway and it didn’t take more than hearing the stories to remind Quinn about the power of these sorts of meetings.
    An older woman was talking about her children, how she’d been afraid to call them, but how she was now talking to her son again. When she was finished, someone else got up and Quinn immediately realized the voice sounded familiar.
    “Hi, my name is Haden and I’m an alcoholic.”
    “Hi, Haden.”
    “I’ve been sober for seven months and three days.”
    Applause.
    Haden sighed deeply as if he was trying to muster the courage. Quinn tried to crane his neck to look at him, but when he realized Haden was facing him, he ducked down again, hoping Haden hadn’t noticed him sitting there.
    “I was never the most sociable person. I started drinking in high school when I realized that after a few drinks, I wasn’t so afraid to approach girls anymore.” The crowd chuckled in recognition. “It wasn’t until much later that I discovered I liked guys more than girls.” A few people laughed and Quinn could hear in Haden’s voice he was smiling too. “Then I found out I had an even harder time coming on to guys, so I drank even more. Now that I’m sober, all my anxieties are back with a vengeance.”
    Haden paused and Quinn had a hard time keeping a low profile. He wanted to see Haden’s face so badly.
    “Just after I stopped drinking, I met a guy I really liked. His world is so different from mine, yet when we talk, we seem to have a lot in common. Back then, I didn’t have the nerve to say anything, let alone make a move toward him. I’m pretty sure he’s gay, so that isn’t the problem. Anyway, we lost touch, but last week I met up with him again at the place where he works.”
    Quinn smiled, realizing that Haden was talking about him. About them. He took a large drink of coffee to quell his nerves.
    “We can still talk really well, but I don’t know how to proceed from here.”
    “So what did you used to do when this happened?” a woman in the center asked.
    “I used to have a few drinks and then make myself bump into him. Can’t do that now.”
    “You can still bump into him,” she continued.
    “The coming face to face with him part isn’t that hard. He’s really open and approachable, but I think he just sees me as a friend. I don’t have the nerve to tell him my feelings go further than that. What do you say?” Haden asked rhetorically. “Hi, I’m Haden; will you come home with me?”
    Some people chuckled.
    “How would you want him to approach you?” A man’s voice asked.
    “I don’t know,” Haden admitted. “If he did, I’d probably run away.”
    “So what will you do then?” the first woman asked.
    “I don’t know,” Haden repeated. “I know drinking isn’t going to solve my problems, but sometimes I think that if I just have a few drinks, just once, I could find the courage to tell him how I feel. On the other hand, not drinking is more important to me than dating.”
    “You’d just fall off the wagon again, dude,” another familiar voice said.
    Quinn dared to look up again. He noticed Karl sitting closer to him, elbows resting on his knees and eyes turned toward Haden. His face was caring and understanding and Quinn was kind of happy that Karl and Haden seemed to know each other, at least from meetings like this.
    After hearing another story, the gathering broke