Calling All Birdbrains Read Free

my girlfriend, only she doesn’t know it yet.
    â€œApril-May! Wait up!” I shouted.
    She’s so shy. She started to run faster.
    â€œWait up!” I shouted. I set Lippy on my shoulder and started to run.
    â€œWHOOOOA!” I let out a cry as I tripped over something.
    A garden rake!

    I went down hard—and smacked my face in the dirt.

    Shaking off the pain, I sat up.
    â€œOh, nooo,” I moaned.
    My glasses were broken.

Chapter 7
G ET O UT THE M OP
    April-May stood over me. Her blond ponytail waved in the breeze. She gazed down with laughing blue eyes. “Ha-ha. Do that again!” she said.
    â€œI did it on purpose,” I said. “Just to give you a laugh. I always like to start the day with a laugh—don’t you?”
    She smiled. “Your face always makes me laugh, Bernie,” she said.
    â€œThanks,” I said. “That was a compliment, right?”
    â€œFor sure,” she replied.
    â€œHelp me up,” I said. I reached out my hand.
    She stuck her chewing gum into my palm. Thenshe took off, running to class.

    That girl is just plain crazy about me.
    Groaning, I pulled myself to my feet. I tucked my broken glasses into my shirt pocket. “That proves it,” I told Lippy. “Your luck has run out.”

    I ignored the bird and staggered to the dorm. My buddies and I live in the dorm called Rotten House. It’s actually a run-down old house on the edge of campus. And we love it.
    Mrs. Heinie is our dorm mother. We all love Mrs. Heinie, mainly because she’s very nearsighted. That means we can get away with pretty much anything!
    This morning, Mrs. Heinie was in the Commons Room, our living room, picking up crinkled soda cans and empty tortilla chip bags guys had tossed around last night.
    I crept in on tiptoe, heading for the stairs. I had to get to my room on the third floor without her seeing me. I knew I’d be in major trouble with Mrs. H. if she saw that I’d been out all night.
    Softly…softly…I crept along the wall silently…holding my breath.
    I nearly made it to the stairs when Lippy let out a loud,

    Mrs. Heinie spun around and squinted at me through her thick eyeglasses. “Bernie? Sneaking in at eight in the morning?” she said.
    â€œI can explain, Mrs. H.,” I said. “I just joined the Wake Up at Dawn Club, and I—”

    Huh? I couldn’t believe this! Now the bird was snitching on me?!
    â€œHe’s joking,” I told Mrs. Heinie. “The bird loves to joke.”
    â€œSo do I,” said Mrs. Heinie. “Bernie, do you know a good joke about scrubbing the kitchen floor?”
    Uh-oh.
    â€œNo. I don’t know that joke,” I said.
    She handed me a mop and a bucket. “Get started,” she said. “Maybe you’ll learn it.”

    â€œOh, really?” said Mrs. Heinie. “Well, then, you can scrub all the bathroom floors, too.”
    The bird did it to me again!
    I felt like mopping the floor with Lippy! My bigmouthed parrot was definitely BAD LUCK.
    As I mopped the floors, I asked myself the same questions over and over: What happened to Lucky Lippy? How can I get the good luck back?

Chapter 8
I S T HERE A C URE FOR B AD L UCK ?
    When I finally finished mopping, my hands were red and swelled up like balloons. I was hot and sweaty and not feeling in tip-top shape.
    I trudged up the stairs to my room on the third floor. My good buddy Belzer was waiting for me. He had a big tray in his hands. “I figured you’d be tired, Big B,” he said. “So I brought you a small lunch from the Dining Hall.”
    Good kid, Belzer.
    I lifted the lid off the tray. Belzer had brought two hamburgers, two plates of fries, a chili dog, a bowl ofcoleslaw, two pickles, two slices of pepperoni pizza, a bowl of tomato soup, a turkey club sandwich, a bowl of red and green grapes, and two thick shakes, one chocolate, one strawberry.
    â€œPretty light,” I