Callahan's Place 10 - Off The Wall At Callahan's (v5.0) Read Free Page A

intensify joy.
    —Jake

 
     
     
     
     
    I like fashion—and Porsches, and Rolexes—all that stuff! How nice of the morons and drones to wear uniforms, so one can avoid them...
    —Long-Drink

 
     
     
     
     
    In our society, big lush women and small slight men go through life wrapped around a softball-sized chunk of pain; it breaks some, and makes others magnificent.
    —Jake

 
     
     
     
     
    Still I persist in wondering, whether folly must always be our nemesis.
    —Edgar Pangborn

 
     
     
     
     
    It claims to be fully automatic, but actually you have to push this little button here.
    —Gentleman John Kilian

 
     
     
     
     
    Logic is a way of going wrong with confidence.
    —Stinky Kettering

 
     
     
     
     
    The only real perversions are nymphomania, satyriasis and celibacy… but even they should be permitted for members of a free society.   The only consensual sex-related acts I would proscribe—for reasons of public health—are those involving former food or former people, and lying about the state of one’s venereal health or contraceptive status.          
    —Lady Sally

 
     
     
     
     
    Art takes whatever—and as long as—it takes.
    —Lady Sally

 
     
     
     
     
    Certain kinds of shit are quite palatable, with a little necessity sprinkled on them.  
    —Joe

 
     
     
     
     
    Take your skinny women and stick them up the same receptacle with hard beds and cold showers and red-line exercise and "natural" food and all the other things everyone earnestly pursues in the belief that pleasure and pain are nature’s diabolical attempts to trick us, that the less you enjoy a thing the better it must be for you; take ’em and stick ’em, and give me something a man can enjoy!
    —Jake

 
     
     
     
     
    What you put your attention on prospers.
    —Stephen Gaskin

 
     
     
     
     
    Sexual intercourse vests no property rights.
    —Jake

 
     
     
     
     
    Perhaps I could stand loneliness if I were not so useless; perhaps I could stand uselessness if I were not so lonely.
    —Mickey Finn

 
     
     
     
     
    Sometimes, just naming your burden helps.
    —Mike

 
     
     
     
     
    "You don’t even know if our species are sexually compatible."
        "The hell I don’t.   I can see fingers and a tongue from here; anything else is gravy."
    —exchange between Mickey and Mary

 
     
     
     
     
    Writing is a simple trick: all you have to do is sit and stare at a blank piece of paper, until beads of blood form on your forehead...
    —Larry Van Cott

 
     
     
     
     
    There are places on the skull where even a gentle rap will reliably drop a man—but the back of the skullbone is not one of them.   Try it yourself.   Borrow a blackjack from your mother and sap a random sample of ten guys, as hard as you like.   I’ll bet you fifty bucks not more than four of them go down.
    —Joe

 
     
     
     
     
    From an ergonomic engineering standpoint, the only pardonable object in the typical human bathroom is the towel rack.
    —Mickey

 
     
    So many men seem to have the idea that what women secretly want most of all (no matter what we say or even believe ourselves) is a powerful and remorseless engine of flesh impersonally hammering away at us without pause for hours at a time.   They become upset with themselves if they cannot deliver this silly commodity.   I don’t mean that, on the one occasion in my life when it actually happened to me, it was an unpleasant experience, exactly.   (Until I tried to get up and walk the next day.)   It’s just that maybe once in a lifetime is plenty.   And I’ve never seen that guy since, don’t much care if I do.
         I mean, you could buy a machine to do that.   They exist.   And women don’t buy them.   Neither do gay men.
    —Maureen

 
     
     
     
     
    There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think people can be subdivided into as few as two categories, and those who know better.
    —Doc