By Force of Instinct Read Free Page B

over her would be diminished. Apparently he was to have no such reprieve, and he was beginning to think of the excuses he could make when he saw elizabeth turn her head away in an attempt to hide her distress at the idea, 14

    By FoRce oF InstInct
    and he knew that he would not be able to stay away. He damned himself for his susceptibility to her. Remember, she thinks you devoid of every proper feeling and completely lacking in honour, he reminded himself. She is nothing but a silly girl who would throw away an opportunity most women spend their lives dreaming of because she was offended by your honest scruples. With a stab of pain, he heard her voice again saying, “You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.”
    What spiteful fate had determined that the woman he loved should be the one woman in the world who wanted nothing to do with him? He wondered whether such a turn of events constituted a tragedy or a farce.
    He managed the semblance of a civil nod to elizabeth and the rest of her party before forcing his feet to carry him away from the woman who had so bewitched him.
    elizabeth felt quite unequal to company following the painful excursion to church, and knowing that she would be required to face an even more excruciating version of the same torture that evening, resolved to take some time to herself for reflection in her favourite manner. she therefore excused herself for a solitary walk after luncheon, brushing aside charlotte’s protests regarding her pallor and recent headaches. sooner or later, she knew, she would have to face her friend’s growing suspicions that all was not well with her, but she could not begin to face that task at present.
    Her feet led her without conscious thought to her favourite grove. on recognizing where she was, she felt a moment of panic, knowing now that it was where Darcy had often sought her out in the past. she realized, though, that she was quite safe, as there would be no place that he would more fervently avoid at present. He had, after all, made the state of his current regard for her more than clear, that his feelings were cause for shame and could not be forgotten too soon. His cold look in church demonstrated that he had lost no time in putting those tender feelings behind him. she could not blame him; she certainly deserved no special notice after she had abused him so abominably.
    Her sense of shame over her behaviour led directly to thoughts of the unhappy defects of her family, the subject of yet heavier chagrin. she burst 15

    Abigail Reynolds
    into tears as she thought of it, and from actual weakness leaned against a tree as she wept. she had always avoided acknowledging the extent to which the lack of fortune of the Bennet girls, combined with their mother’s improprieties, materially affected their prospects for marriage; it was easy enough to say that she should not marry where she did not love, but Mr.
    Darcy’s words were forcing her to face the truth that even the beautiful, gentle Jane had only had the one suitor when she was sixteen before Mr.
    Bingley, and elizabeth’s assets were certainly no greater than her sister’s.
    she was sufficiently deep in her own distress as to be unaware of approaching footsteps. Darcy stopped short at the sight of her across the grove, immediately thinking to leave before he was observed. At the realization that she was weeping, however, he was torn by uncertainty. He could not be sure of the cause of her distress, but it could be assumed to relate to his disastrous proposal. A part of him longed to go to her and comfort her, while at the same time it felt only proper that she ought to suffer as he did.
    nor could he expect her to welcome his attempts to relieve her distress—she had made it perfectly clear what she thought of him, and he