Broken Hearts Damaged Goods Read Free Page A

It looks bad.
    I have to let this go until he is ready to talk,
which is not going to happen.  He’s a guy.  Plus, even when we were good as a
couple, we still didn’t discuss feelings.  We just had really great sex and
enjoyed each other’s company, which included a lot of physical intimacy and
some getting to know each other.
    I think we really need to break up.  There’s no way
to fix this relationship.
    I will wait and see what he does.

Sept. 4, 2010
    Steve and I had dinner together tonight for the
first time since the fight.  We had hung out together some during the week and
had a few phone calls and texts, but everything between us was formal, even
when he ended every conversation saying that he loved me.
    The dinner was okay.  He did everything to make it
seem like we were a couple.  He kissed me goodnight.  Well, he kissed me on the
cheek.
    Maybe I seemed a little cool.  He was trying to be
romantic.  I just felt indifferent to him and really wanted to break up with him. 
I would break up with him, but I don’t know if I want to be just friends with
him, or just remain friends on Facebook while not actually ever talking to each
other.  I don’t think I want to unfriend him.  He wasn’t a bad boyfriend. 
We’re just no longer good as a couple.
    I’m looking forward to this weekend.  I’m going to
go home for Labor Day.  I’ll discuss everything with my sister.  Sometimes the
best thing to do is to talk it out with somebody that knows you and has your
best interests at heart.  And she will help me to figure out what I am really
feeling and thinking.

Sept. 7, 2010
    It felt good to see my family this weekend.  And it
felt good to be away from Steve and all of our problems.  I decided to not
break up with him.  I think I can save this relationship.
    This feels like the right decision, especially after
having lunch with him today.  I don’t know what changed about him, but we
seemed more like we did when we first started going out.  We talked about what
was going on in our lives. And he listened like he actually cared.  He looked
deep into my eyes and hung on my every word.  He told me I was beautiful and
held me close to him.  There was a softness and a tenderness to his kisses. 
And I felt like he actually loved me.
    And as we walked back to my apartment, we just
talked and held hands.  When we got back to my place, I apologized for having
raped him.  He kissed me and told me that it was okay and that I didn’t need to
apologize.  He should have been paying better attention to me and everything
that I was feeling.
    We then had sex, but it was different from all of
the sex we have had before.  It was soft, sweet, and tender.  He held me after
it.  We just laid there and talked.  We then showered together and got ready
for dinner.
    He was even sweet in the shower.  He was more loving
than erotic or passionate.  He wasn’t seeing what he could do with me.  It was
about his light touches and caresses and him taking care of me.  The best part
was that he didn’t ask for anything in return.
    He actually took me out to eat for dinner.  It was
that nice little Italian place, Cusina DeBenecia or something.  It was almost a
candlelit dinner, except that there were no candles.  The lights were just a
little dim, but in a romantic way.  And the waiter suggested wines to go with
your pasta dish.
    After that, we just hung out at my place.  He held
me as we watched TV.
    He’s asleep right now.  I’m enjoying watching him
sleep.  He’s so beautiful.  I know that he isn’t going to like that term, but
how else would you describe it?  He’s so at peace.  His dark hair is just
slightly messed up.  His lips are begging to be kissed.
    And he is shirtless, so I get to see his pecks,
biceps, and the top of his abs.  He really is a gorgeous man.
    And I can’t say what has changed or how it even
happened, but I’m glad that we didn’t break up.  Of all of the guys that