Bradley, Marion Zimmer - Shadowgate 04 Read Free

think of America as a country of the poor.
                 Dr.
Nathaniel Atheling had a small office on the third floor of the main building.
Colin found it without difficulty and knocked on the door.
                 Atheling
was a spare, slender man, closer to fifty than to forty. His dark hair was
several weeks late for a haircut, shot with early silver, and when he glanced
up Colin could see that his eyes were a curious light amber color, nearly gold.
The only thing at all out of the ordinary about his appearance was the scarab
pendant in bright blue faience that hung from a silver chain about his
neck, resting against his sober institutional necktie. He was seated behind a
desk covered with paper.
                 "Ah.
It's three o'clock . That means you must be Colin MacLaren," Atheling
said. His voice held no trace of any accent, and only a careful precision
hinted that English might not be his native tongue.
                 As
Colin closed the door behind him, Atheling raised his right hand in what might
have been a casual gesture. Certainly any of the Uninitiated who saw it would
mistake it for such, as they were meant to: it was the Salute given from an
Adept of a higher grade to one of a lower.
                 Reflexively
Colin returned the salute, lower to higher, and sat down in the uncomfortable
plastic chair on the other side of Atheling's desk.
                 "Forgive
me for receiving you in these surroundings, Dr. MacLaren, but my days are long,
and you had indicated that this was a matter of some . . . personal
urgency."
                 "A
neat way of putting it," Colin said. "And please, drop the title.
Call me Colin. It's a Ph.D., not a medical degree. I don't really feel
entitled."
                 "As
you wish, Colin. Now, if you were one of my patients, I'd ask you to tell me
what seems to be the trouble, and ask you to be honest, no matter how fantastic
the events seem to you. And I suppose that's still as good a way as any to
begin. ..."
                 That
meeting was the first of many — though Colin had gone first to Atheling as a Brother in the
Order, he'd quickly found friendship as well as spiritual guidance and sound
advice. It had been Nathaniel who had finally suggested that New York's
nearly-familiar streets might not be what Colin really needed, and had
suggested a course of sunshine and sea air, in a place as different from New
York as Colin could find.
                 He'd
also pointed out what Colin already knew: that in less than two years, Colin
had managed to dig himself a cozy rut ... or bunker — and it was mental
comparisons like this that had convinced Colin that Nathaniel's advice was
sound. He wasn't building to face the challenge of the future; he was retreating
from it in confusion and perhaps even fear. He needed to get out into the world
again; force himself to confront it as it was now and stop setting it against
the backdrop of his memories.
                 The
means were obvious. He was lecturing nearly every evening now, on wide-ranging
subjects that followed his lifelong interests, and he always felt most at home
at University. A long time ago — in a life that seemed now as if it had belonged to someone
else — he'd
even planned to make a career of teaching. Why not pick that place to reenter
his interrupted life? On a college campus he'd be immersed in the tidal surge
of the here and now, his daily life filled with youngsters whose eyes were
fixed on the future.
                 It
was a good solution, though it took a surprising amount of courage to
implement. In the fall of'59, Colin finally nerved himself to take the first
step.
                 Though
Colin's academic credentials were a little rusty after ten years spent first
with the Office of Strategic Services and then the Army of Occupation, they
were still fairly attractive to prospective