âWeâre all devastated by Pennyâs death. She was in the office only hours before she died. Itâs a tragic loss.â
Ms. Varnavides, 42, grew up in Chicago and studied at
Northwestern and Stanford. After graduating, she worked in the computer industry. Her debut Darkliners novel , The Magicking of Danny Armstrong, was first published in England because she couldnât find a US publisher. But its runaway success was repeated all over the world and she became a full-time novelist ten years ago. She was unmarried and lived in San Francisco.
The apartment where the tragedy took place is the home of a British academic who exchanged it with Ms. Varnavidesâ duplex in Noe Valley for the summer.
The piece of bread never made it to her mouth. Lindsay sat down suddenly on a kitchen chair and reread the article, tears pricking her eyes. Mutton slumped against her leg, butting his head against her sympathetically. Lindsayâs hand went to the dogâs head in an automatic movement, rubbing her fingers over the silky ears. Her other hand traced the outline of the newsprint. Penny was dead.
The tears spilled over and trickled down Lindsayâs cheeks. Less than five weeks before, Penny had been sitting on their deck knocking back Sierra Nevada amber ale and bemoaning the end of her relationship with Meredith Miller, the woman sheâd been seeing for the previous five years. It had been a shocking conversation. If anyone had asked Lindsay who were the couple most likely to make it work, sheâd have answered without hesitation, âMeredith and Penny.â Theyâd always seemed entirely compatible, a marriage of equals. Even Pennyâs need to remain in the closet because of her huge market among teenagers in middle America hadnât been a bone of contention; it was matched by Meredithâs own requirements. A computer scientist with a defense contractor, she had top-secret clearance, a grading sheâd lose immediately her sexuality became known to her professionally paranoid bosses.
The two women had shared a tall Victorian house that had been divided into a duplex; Meredith lived in the two lower floors, Penny above. But the terraced garden at the back was common, allowing them to move freely from one section of the house to the other without being overlooked. So theyâd effectively lived together, while maintaining the fiction of being nothing more than friends. In San Francisco, Lindsay had realized a long time ago, it wasnât always easy
to tell who were lovers and who merely friends. It was so easy to be out that everyone assumed anyone who wasnât had to be straight and sadly lacking a partner.
Although it had been clear from the tone of the conversation that it had been Penny who had given Meredith her marching orders, she had spoken with deep regret about the ending of the relationship. âShe left me with no choice,â sheâd said sadly, head leaning against Sophieâs shoulder as Lindsay tended the barbecue. âRight from the start, we always had borderlines, you know? We had common concepts of what was acceptable in a relationship and what wasnât. Fidelity was an absolute. She must have known she was leaving me no option, doing what she did.â She took another pull on her beer and stared into the sunset.
âMaybe she was testing you,â Lindsay had tried.
âI donât think so,â Penny said. âI think she was in self-destruct mode. And you canât stop somebody whoâs that determined.â
âNo, but you donât have to give them a shove in the wrong direction,â Lindsay muttered, knowing she wouldnât be heard over the hissing of the marinade sheâd just used to baste the salmon.
By the end of the evening, Penny had had enough bottles of the dark golden ale for Sophie to insist she stayed the night and Lindsay had had enough of Pennyâs grief to slip away on the excuse of