Bonjour Tristesse Read Free Page A

note of vivid colour that persists in the modern world."
    I made it my own with far more conviction, I think, than if I had put it into practice. I believed that I could base my life on it.
     
     
    3
    The next morning I was awakened by a slanting ray of hot sunshine that flooded my bed and put an end to my strange and rather confused dreams. Still half asleep I raised my hand to shield my face from the insistent heat, then gave it up. It was ten o'clock. I went down to the terrace in my pyjamas and found Anne glancing through the newspapers. I noticed that she was lightly, but perfectly, made up; apparently she never allowed herself a real holiday. As she paid no attention to me, I sat down on the steps with a cup of coffee and an orange to enjoy the delicious morning. I bit the orange and let its sweet juice run into my mouth, then took a gulp of scalding black coffee and went back to the orange again. The sun warmed my hair and smoothed away the marks of the sheet on my skin. I thought in five minutes I would go and bathe. Anne's voice made me jump:
    "Cécile, aren't you eating anything?"
    "I prefer just a drink in the morning."
    "To look presentable you ought to put on six pounds; your cheeks are hollow and one can count every rib. Do go in and fetch yourself some bread and butter!"
    I begged her not to force me to eat, and she was just explaining how important it was when my father appeared in his sumptuous spotted dressing-gown.
    "What a charming spectacle," he said, "two little girls sunning themselves and discussing bread and butter."
    "Unfortunately there's only one little girl," said Anne, laughing. "I'm your age, my dear Raymond!"
    "Caustic as ever!" he said gently, and I saw Anne's eyelids flutter as if she had received an unexpected caress.
    I slipped away unnoticed. On the stairs I passed Elsa. She was obviously just out of bed, with swollen eyelids, pale lips, and her skin crimson from too much sun. I almost stopped her to say that Anne was downstairs, her face trim and immaculate; that she would be careful to tan slowly and without damage. I nearly put her on her guard, but probably she would have taken it badly: she was twenty-nine, thirteen years younger than Anne, and that seemed to her a master trump.
    I fetched my bathing suit and ran to the creek. To my surprise Cyril was already there, sitting on his boat. He came to meet me looking serious, and took my hands.
    "I wanted to beg your pardon for yesterday," he said.
    "It was my fault," I replied, wondering why he was so solemn.
    "I'm very annoyed with myself," he went on, pushing the boat into the water.
    "There's no reason to be," I said lightly.
    "But I am!"
    I was already in the boat. He was standing in the water up to his knees, resting his hands on the gunwale as if it were the bar of a tribunal. I knew his face well enough to read his expression and realised that he would not join me until he had said what was on his mind. It made me laugh to think that at twenty-five he saw himself as a seducer.
    "Don't laugh," he said, "I really meant it. You have no protection against me. Look at the example of your father and that woman! I might be the most awful cad for all you know."
    He was not at all ridiculous. I thought he was kind, already half in love with me, and that it would be nice to be in love with him too. I put my arms round his neck and my cheek against his. He had broad shoulders and his body felt hard against mine.
    "You're very sweet, Cyril," I murmured. "You shall be a brother to me."
    He folded his arms round me with an angry little exclamation, and gently pulled me out of the boat. He held me close against him, my head on his shoulder. At that moment I loved him. In the morning light he was as golden, as soft, as gentle as myself. He was protecting me. As his lips touched mine we both began to tremble, and the pleasure of our kiss was untinged by shame or regret, merely a deep searching interrupted every now and then by whispers. I broke