Board Stiff (Xanth) Read Free

into sight in the moonlight. It was enormous, big enough to swallow a man. Ease reacted immediately. He swung the board at the snake’s snout, just as the head shot forward, fangs bared.
    Kandy realized that the board was going to miss the snout and strike the neck. That was no good; the serpent would slither on by and bite the man’s arm. She reacted before she even worked it out mentally, adjusting her course so that she was on target. She smacked into the snout with a satisfying impact.
    Surprised, the serpent whipped back. Then, seeing its prey on guard and effectively armed, it slithered rapidly away.
    “Good thing I happened to wake in time,” Ease said. “I forgot I wasn’t on an enchanted path. If it hadn’t been for that itch in my ear, it would have had me.”
    He didn’t know. Yet how else could it be? He would never believe that a board had nipped his ear.
    Still, now she understood why she had to be awake. To keep watch when he was not alert. It did make sense. She had to be satisfied with that.
    In due course Ease settled down again. He slept and she womaned. She moved his hand to her back, kissed him, and settled down to listen for the rest of the night. This was not the relationship she would have chosen, but it would do for now.
    In the morning Ease woke and went about his morning routine. Kandy was embarrassed to see him catching up on natural functions, but chided herself for her attitude. How else could he survive, without taking care of his body? She herself seemed to have no natural functions while under the spell; she merely existed, like a nymph. There might be some catching up to do at such time as the spell concluded.
    Meanwhile she was concluding that she definitely liked Ease. He was a typical somewhat ignorant man, but he did have some manly virtues, like courage. He had not hesitated to bash the serpent. So if she was his perfect woman, he just might be her acceptable man.
    Then Ease set out for the Good Magician’s Castle. That was another thing: he had taken her advice. Of course he didn’t know it wasn’t his own thought, but still, she liked this aspect of their relationship. He found an enchanted path and followed it, whistling. There was a network of enchanted paths leading to the important destinations. Travelers on them were safe from molestation by monsters, and shelters were provided. Kandy had on occasion walked an enchanted path herself, appreciating the safety it offered.
    At noon Ease came to such a shelter. There was a neat cabin, a pond, and a grove of trees growing shoes, clothes, pillows, and food.
    There were also other travelers. A red-haired girl arrived from the opposite direction as Ease approached the cabin. “Hello, handsome human,” she said brightly.
    Kandy suffered a spot siege of pointless jealousy. She did not want Ease associating with amenable young women.
    “Hello, pretty girl,” he answered. “I am Ease, with a talent of making things easy, on my way to see the Good Magician to find a challenge.”
    “I am Cherry Centaur.”
    Ease paused. “You don’t look like a centaur.”
    She laughed. “I am in human form at the moment. It’s more convenient when traveling among humans.”
    “You can change back and forth?”
    “Not exactly.”
    “Am I missing something?”
    “Something,” she agreed. “My complete form is a centaur. But I can separate into my components: a red-haired girl, and a red mare. Sometimes we prefer to have some alone time. She’s more mature than I am, at age fifteen, because mares grow faster than girls. So I go among humans and she ranges the wilderness, running with horses.” She paused, blushing delicately. “I’m not sure what she does with stallions, but she seems to like it.”
    “I can tell you,” Ease said. “She--”
    STOP! Kandy thought, interrupting him. SHE’S UNDERAGE .
    Oops, the dread Adult Conspiracy that relentlessly bound all adults to keep interesting things from children. He had to change