funny, outgoing and generally well liked, and there was no one who didn’t know her. Steph had pulled me into her group of friends and was my daily savior, filling up the space I couldn’t fulfill due to my usual lack of appropriate words or knowledge for interesting conversation subjects. Thanks to Steph, my otherwise nonexistent social life always managed to have some color.
The morning went by the same as usual.
After English literature came philosophy. Neither Joanne nor Steph were in that course, so I shared my desk with Kevin London, another one of the boys from our group.
Kevin was the quietest of them, no one knowing exactly what he thought about the rest of the world. Together we were the absurd of the lack of subject, since the words we exchanged were always so few. But I still couldn’t help feeling at ease near him, and his company was much more pleasant than that of the other boys.
When lunchtime finally came around, we met Steph and Joanne again in the cafeteria where we took our places at our group’s normal table. The conversation became immediately livelier and, as always, I followed Steph while she told us about the movie that had kept her awake the previous night.
Like always, Joe immediately started picking on Joanne, making her give him her full attention instead of listening to what Steph was saying. Albert Clayton was whispering something apparently funny in Sarah Trent’s ear, his new girlfriend. She laughed softly, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright blue. Kevin had his nose stuck in a book, which quickly became Steph’s target since Joanne wasn’t paying her attention.
I just made sure I kept on smiling.
Again that feeling ...
It was as if I were there but wasn’t. As if I were one of them, but in truth something completely different. As if that were my reality, but at the same time I were a mere spectator of some kind of movie. As if, for a moment, my world had stopped turning while theirs went on, slowly leaving me behind.
“Mari!” Steph’s voice woke me from my digressions. “We were talking about going to Oxford Street tomorrow after school. Want to come? Anyway, you always spend your afternoons home alone, right? Why not leave your books behind for a change?” she asked with her typical liveliness. Although we’d only met a few months ago, I had to agree that Steph knew me all too well. Her arguments left me no way to politely refuse her invitation, which, to top it all, had made me uncomfortably the center of everyone’s attention.
“Ok,” I just answered, forcing a smile and the talk immediately became all about the shops we absolutely had to go to. The boys offered to accompany us, making Sarah happy and Joanne frown in disapproval because that meant Joe was coming too, to torment her all afternoon.
They talked about our impending afternoon all throughout lunch, but my mind had been wandering ever since I’d sat down with my tray. I focused on eating everything I’d bought as fast as I could and it only took me the whole of ten minutes to be done with it, soup and desert included.
I stood up, hoping no one would notice my absence, but Steph didn’t allow me to leave that easily.
“Going already?” she asked, knowing full well where I was headed. I blushed, nodding. “Good luck then!” she added, winking, and I walked away with my empty tray before any of the others could ask me anything else.
After placing the tray on its rightful place, I ran from the cafeteria towards the north building and out into the cold, pale day. The wind that cut through my clothes made me shiver and hold my breath for an instant, but a second later none of it mattered anymore. Because there he was — Michael Heaton.
His smile froze me instantly and all I could do was watch him from where I stood. As always, Michael was surrounded by his usual group. At the time, they seemed to be talking about something amusing and, even though I was too far away to hear, I noticed his