Black Easter Read Free Page A

horror and agony beyond your power to imagine, or even of mine. But you did specify that you wanted your murder done “tracelessly”, which obviously means that I must have no unusual marks left on the patient. I prefer it that way myself. How then could I prove suffering if you asked for it, in a way inarguable enoughto charge you extra for it?
    ‘Or, look at the other side of the shield, Mr Baines. Every now and then, an unusual divorce client asks that the ex-consort be carried away painlessly, even sweetly, out of some residue of sentiment. I
could
collect an extra fee for that, on a contingent basis, that is, if the body turns out to show no overt marks of disease or violence. But my agents are demons, and sweetness is not a trait they can be compelled to exhibit, so I never accept that kind of condition from a client, either. Death is what you pay for, and death is what you get. The circumstances are up to the agent, and I don’t offer my clients anything that I know I can’t deliver.’
    ‘All right, I’m answered,’ Baines said. ‘Forget Dolores–actually she’s only a minor nuisance, and only one of several, for that matter. Now let’s talk about the other end of the spectrum. Suppose instead that I should ask you to … send for … a great political figure. Say, the governor of California – or, if he’s a friend of yours, pick a similiar figure who isn’t.’
    Ware nodded. ‘He’ll do well enough. But you’ll recall that I asked you about children. Had you really turned out to have been an alimony case, I should next have asked you about surviving relatives. My fees rise in direct proportion to the numbers and kinds of people a given death is likely to affect. This is partly what you call scruples, and partly a species of self-defence. Now in the case of a reigning governor, I would charge you one dollar for every vote he got when he was last elected. Plus expenses, of course.’
    Baines whistled in admiration. ‘You’re the first man I’ve ever met who’s worked out a system to make scruples pay. And I can see why you don’t care about alimony cases. Someday, Mr Ware –’
    ‘Doctor
Ware, please. I am a Doctor of Theology.’
    ‘Sorry. I only meant to say that someday I’ll ask you why you want so much money. You asthenics seldom can think of any good use for it. In the meantime, however, you’re hired. Is it all payable in advance?’
    ‘The expenses are payable in advance. The fee is C.O.D. As you’ll realize once you stop to think about it, Mr Baines –’
    ‘Doctor
Baines. I am an LL.D.’
    ‘Apologies in exchange. I want you to realize, after these courtesies, that I have never, never been bilked.’
    Baines thought about what was supposed to be at his back until the day after tomorrow. Pending the test of the golden tears on the handkerchief, he was willing to believe that he should not try to cheat Ware. Actually, he had never planned to.
    ‘Good,’ he said, getting up. ‘By the same token, we don’t need a contract. I agree to your terms.’
    ‘But what for?’
    ‘Oh,’ Baines said, ‘we can use the governor of California for a starter. Jack here will iron out any remaining details with you. I have to get back to Rome by tonight.’
    ‘You did say, “For a starter?” ‘
    Baines nodded shortly. Ware, also rising, said, ‘Very well. I shall ask no questions. But in fairness, Mr Baines. I should warn you that on your next commission of this kind, I shall ask you what
you
want.’
    ‘By that time,’ Baines said, holding his excitement tightly bottled, ‘we’ll
have
to exchange such confidences. Oh, Dr Ware, will the, uh, demon on my back go away by itself when the time’s up or must I see you again to get it taken off?’
    ‘It isn’t
on
your back,’ Ware said. ‘And it will go by itself. Marlowe to the contrary, misery does not love company.’
    Baring his teeth, Baines said, ‘We’ll see about that.’

For a moment, Jack Ginsberg felt the same