Black and Blue: BWWM Romance Read Free Page A

breath.
    “You aren’t some kind of slacker are you?” Brian interrupted my breathing technique.
    “What...slacker?”
    “Yeah...before I give you my number I just want to make sure you aren’t going to be mooching off of me for notes or some shit.” Did I look like a slacker? Did I have moocher or lazy bitch stamped on my forehead? Or maybe it was because I was black?
    “Look...I’m not some…” I was going to pass out or throw up. I could feel it. Swaying a bit, I fought back, trying to do what my therapist told me. Breathe...in through your nose...out through your nose. “I didn’t get here by slacking and I won’t be depending on you for anything...trust me.” He had some damn nerve.
    “Good…” He wrote down his number and other information but I was concentrating more on not embarrassing myself yet again in front of these people. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing, sure signs of my panic attacks.
    I sipped water and pretended to be looking in a book to calm myself as he slid a piece of paper onto my book.
    “Don’t call me too late...my girl might get jealous.” I looked up at him to check if he was serious. He winked at me but I rolled my eyes.
    “Trust me, I probably will never use this number.” I stood up as I saw people filing out of the classroom.
    “Remember to check the online class portal. There will be extra reading material uploaded there periodically throughout the semester” the professor shouted as people filed out. I needed to leave, get home, and calm down before I passed out completely.
    Standing up, I shoved my books in my bag.
    “Don’t you have something for me.”
    “What?” He was still there asking for things instead of leaving with everyone else.
    “Your number, email, social security number, like the professor said.” His sarcasm was lost on me.
    “Ummm…” I snatched a piece of paper from my notebook and scribbled down my number and email. “Don’t call it unless you are serious about studying.” I shoved the paper in his hand, feeling flush like I needed air.
    Not waiting for him to reply, I grabbed my bag and took the stairs up the lecture hall two at a time. Past the door, I breathed deeply, walking out into the night’s air. Even though we were downtown, there weren’t many people out. The downtown St. Louis landscape was pretty scarce after business hours during the week.
    For once I was glad not to be around people and for the darkness, No one could see me sweating and breathing hard if there was darkness.
    I crossed the street towards my loft trying to remember what my therapist taught me.
    Focus on something to take your mind off whatever is scaring you . I chose to look towards the parking meters; counting each one I passed on my walk home.
    One…two…three… I breathed deep with each one I saw, my heart slowing with each one I counted. What she told me to do was working. I moved out of the way for a man walking down the sidewalk, except he didn’t walk past, he moved with me.
    “Excuse me.” I smiled a little trying to be nice as we played this waltz. I moved to another side but he did it again and before I could part my lips to say a word he had some things of his own to say.
    “Give up your cell phone.” Covered in black clothes from head to toe, a white guy stuck something at me through his coat pocket. My mind told me it was a gun and my heart told me I was about to die.
    “My cell phone…” I lifted my hands in the air, trying to figure out what to do. I couldn’t think straight but all the stories and people tell you to do as you’re told. But I didn’t even know where my phone was at the moment. Was it in my bag, my jacket, my back pocket?
    “Yeah...your cell phone and all your money too bitch. You move and I’ll kill you.”
    “Hey...what the fuck are you doing?” I heard the voice roaring from behind me, the ground slightly shaking as I felt wind past by me. By the time I blinked, punches slapped the guy in