Charlie as two minutes ago.
“Okay, Dad, what’s wrong?”
“Why’d you fill that coffee mug up so much?”
The mug was tipped over on the tray, spilling to the floor. There was a time when Liv would have dove at the cup and tray, wanting to prevent a stain on the floor if she could. But time had taught her to let some things go. It wasn’t worth caring... Charlie would only make another mess somewhere else.
“Okay, Dad, just calm down,” Liv said.
“Don’t tell me to calm,” he bellowed.
Liv sighed and nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“And why’d you make it like that? I like my coffee black. You know that.”
Liv looked at her father or the shell of her father, right then. Her father had wanted coffee with cream. This person looking at her now didn’t. And this person wasn’t her father.
She blinked and felt tears in her eyes.
It was like living a shattered dream, each breath sometimes harder than the last.
And now, after all these years, Danny would be coming back. But it wouldn’t be for her. Not that Liv could blame him, who would want what she had right then?
Charlie turned and missed a step, falling to his knees.
“Dad!”
Liv was just out of striking distance when Charlie threw an arm. “I’m fine! This damn carpet is uneven...”
Liv put her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.
When would it end?
When would the pain of everything just end?
(4)
Danny felt wrong as he sat on the private jet. The rest of the band was comfortable, Chris and Davey were even sleeping. Danny touched his chest and took a breath, feeling his heart. It reminded him he was alive, but it also reminded him he could feel pain. It meant the world to him that the band decided to come to his father’s funeral. Having them there would keep him strong enough to face some old awakened demons. Then he and Johnnie would have to figure out what to do with the house, look into any debts, and maybe even have a laugh at the thought of their father leaving them a will or any sort of monies.
It was going to be a long few days.
If things went well, in a week, he’d meet the band in Colorado near Davey’s place, to discuss the next leg of the tour and unwind for a minute. Then planned to head upstate New York to his cabin by the water. It was a secret place, secluded from the entire world. The closest neighbor was five miles away, the closest store for any kind of supplies was ten.
That would be his motivation.
Face his father’s passing, try to bury his resentment and pain along with the casket, and then move on. Worst case, he always had Johnnie to lean on. Johnnie would listen and understand and help.
He always did.
“You feeling okay?”
Johnnie swatted at Danny’s knee.
“I’m good, man, good,” Danny said.
“You’re clutching your chest.”
“Oh, that.” Danny moved his hand. “No big deal.”
“You used to do that when you were a kid. Sleeping, I mean. When they’d fight... I’d come into your room and check on you. I knew it scared you to death and really bothered you. And you’d be there, sleeping, holding your chest. First time I thought something was wrong but then I realized you were checking for your heartbeat.”
Danny smiled and nodded. “Good to know I’m alive.”
“Better to be dreaming though,” Johnnie said. “At least back then.”
“How did you do it? You know, dealing with the fighting and yelling.”
“I blocked it out. I didn’t care. I knew from day one it was never going to end well. I didn’t put my heart in the ring like...”
Johnnie froze and licked his lips. He looked away.
“Like me?”
“Not the time or place, brother,” Johnnie said. “We’ll be landing soon enough. You ready for it?”
“Is there going to be a crowd?” Rick asked.
“Not sure,” Johnnie said. “If so, it’ll be locals, looking for Danny and me. Just smile and shake hands.”
“Wear the shades,” Rick said. He pulled a pitch black pair of
“Okay, Dad, what’s wrong?”
“Why’d you fill that coffee mug up so much?”
The mug was tipped over on the tray, spilling to the floor. There was a time when Liv would have dove at the cup and tray, wanting to prevent a stain on the floor if she could. But time had taught her to let some things go. It wasn’t worth caring... Charlie would only make another mess somewhere else.
“Okay, Dad, just calm down,” Liv said.
“Don’t tell me to calm,” he bellowed.
Liv sighed and nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“And why’d you make it like that? I like my coffee black. You know that.”
Liv looked at her father or the shell of her father, right then. Her father had wanted coffee with cream. This person looking at her now didn’t. And this person wasn’t her father.
She blinked and felt tears in her eyes.
It was like living a shattered dream, each breath sometimes harder than the last.
And now, after all these years, Danny would be coming back. But it wouldn’t be for her. Not that Liv could blame him, who would want what she had right then?
Charlie turned and missed a step, falling to his knees.
“Dad!”
Liv was just out of striking distance when Charlie threw an arm. “I’m fine! This damn carpet is uneven...”
Liv put her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.
When would it end?
When would the pain of everything just end?
(4)
Danny felt wrong as he sat on the private jet. The rest of the band was comfortable, Chris and Davey were even sleeping. Danny touched his chest and took a breath, feeling his heart. It reminded him he was alive, but it also reminded him he could feel pain. It meant the world to him that the band decided to come to his father’s funeral. Having them there would keep him strong enough to face some old awakened demons. Then he and Johnnie would have to figure out what to do with the house, look into any debts, and maybe even have a laugh at the thought of their father leaving them a will or any sort of monies.
It was going to be a long few days.
If things went well, in a week, he’d meet the band in Colorado near Davey’s place, to discuss the next leg of the tour and unwind for a minute. Then planned to head upstate New York to his cabin by the water. It was a secret place, secluded from the entire world. The closest neighbor was five miles away, the closest store for any kind of supplies was ten.
That would be his motivation.
Face his father’s passing, try to bury his resentment and pain along with the casket, and then move on. Worst case, he always had Johnnie to lean on. Johnnie would listen and understand and help.
He always did.
“You feeling okay?”
Johnnie swatted at Danny’s knee.
“I’m good, man, good,” Danny said.
“You’re clutching your chest.”
“Oh, that.” Danny moved his hand. “No big deal.”
“You used to do that when you were a kid. Sleeping, I mean. When they’d fight... I’d come into your room and check on you. I knew it scared you to death and really bothered you. And you’d be there, sleeping, holding your chest. First time I thought something was wrong but then I realized you were checking for your heartbeat.”
Danny smiled and nodded. “Good to know I’m alive.”
“Better to be dreaming though,” Johnnie said. “At least back then.”
“How did you do it? You know, dealing with the fighting and yelling.”
“I blocked it out. I didn’t care. I knew from day one it was never going to end well. I didn’t put my heart in the ring like...”
Johnnie froze and licked his lips. He looked away.
“Like me?”
“Not the time or place, brother,” Johnnie said. “We’ll be landing soon enough. You ready for it?”
“Is there going to be a crowd?” Rick asked.
“Not sure,” Johnnie said. “If so, it’ll be locals, looking for Danny and me. Just smile and shake hands.”
“Wear the shades,” Rick said. He pulled a pitch black pair of
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