Better Deeds Than Words (Words#2) Read Free

said.
    Daniel rolled his eyes and sighed.
    “Prostate cancer,” Patty said to me in a hushed voice. “That’s what got Bradford—my husband. Never ate a tomato in his life. I’m convinced that’s what did him in. Although I read an article recently about the importance of regular ejaculations as well. Not that Bradford had a problem with that.”
    I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. Daniel stared at her in stunned silence.
    “You are having your oil changed regularly, I hope?” she asked him.
    What the hell? Penny had said Patty was a corker, but nothing had prepared me for this! She was awesome! I blinked back tears as I tried not to burst into laughter. Daniel, on the other hand, was choking on a mouthful of roast beef. I clapped him on the back and handed him his water glass.
    He gulped some and cleared his throat. “Jesus, Patty. That’s a rather personal question.”
    “It’s uptight people who impede the distribution of important information. Don’t you think, Aubrey?”
    “Oh, I couldn’t agree more,” I said, casting a meaningful glance at Daniel, who narrowed his eyes at me.
    He turned back to his grandmother. “Are you implying I’m uptight?”
    “Implying? No, no, I was stating it as a fact. I happen to believe you need to extricate that rather long pole from—well, there’s no need to discuss the sordid details at the table,” she said.
    Daniel put down his fork and looked back and forth between the two of us. “Huh,” he said, miffed. “Okay then. Allow me to put your mind at rest. My oil is being changed fairly regularly. There. Satisfied?”
    He picked up his fork and forcefully stabbed a carrot. I hoped his comment wasn’t intended as an admission that we were involved in an intimate relationship. Patty quirked an eyebrow at me, and I held up my hands as if to say, “Don’t look at me.” She surveyed Daniel expectantly, and he cleared his throat.
    “Unfortunately, I’m decidedly, um, self-employed, at the moment,” he said.
    Oh. My. God . Was he really sitting here at the dining room table with his grandmother and admitting to masturbating? Regularly? Patty remained unfazed. We could have been discussing the current price of pork tenderloin.
    I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. “Well, Daniel, this is very interesting. How is business these days, if you don’t mind me asking?”
    “Business is booming,” he said, his sardonic grin betraying his amusement.
    I bit my lip.
    “Well, that’s a very sad state of affairs for a young, handsome man,” Patty said, eyeing us. “But I understand. These things take time. Just promise me that until someone hires you on permanently , you’ll keep business ticking over for the sake of your prostate health.”
    “Patty, I don’t have a lot of choice in the matter at the moment. Now can we please change the subject?” he asked.
    “Well, all right.” Patty dabbed her lips with her napkin. “So tell me, where did you two meet?”
    Daniel pursed his lips. “At school,” he said. Suitably vague.
    “You’re studying at U of T?” she asked me.
    I nodded, chasing down my mouthful of food with some wine. “I’m graduating this year. I’ll have a specialist in English and a minor in French.”
    Her eyebrows shot up. “Well, I can see how you two would have a lot to talk about. It can be tricky keeping up with Daniel sometimes.”
    “Oh, don’t worry about that. Aubrey keeps me on my toes,” Daniel assured her.
    “I’m happy to hear that. Your grandfather would approve,” she said.
    Daniel smiled at me warmly. “Yes, he would.”
    “I see no reason to keep the young lady under wraps. Surely your parents would be pleased with your choice,” Patty said.
    Daniel shot me another quick glance and rested his knife and fork on his plate.
    “Thing is, Patty, it’s a little complicated. ” He looked at her with a strange expression. She gave him an equally inscrutable gaze in return, like they were communicating