Begin Again: A Charlotte Bloom Short Story Read Free

your eyes off of last week at dinner?”
    I scowled.
    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
    “She’s really pretty. I wouldn’t fault you for it.”
    “She’s just a guest, OK? She needed some dry clothes. That’s all.”
    “Right.”
    Mary walked back into the pub carrying a stack of old clothes. Charlotte walked in behind her, and I watched as they interacted. Suddenly, a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach made me dizzy and disoriented. I imagined my future with Charlotte – all four of us hanging out at the pub. Mary and Charlotte as best friends; Henry and I as best friends. Double dates. Marriage. Children.
    What. The. Fuck. Was. Wrong. With. Me.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    We all rode back to the Parc after lunch, stopping at the same beach as before. Charlotte was riding Bo again. Guests usually loved this – the sunset, the scenic beauty – or whatever. It was a great way to end our day of riding. Or so I’d heard. I hopped down and tied Nigel to a tree, and Charlotte did the same, watching me. She walked down the shore ahead of me. She’d rolled her jeans up to her knees, and her hair was a wild, curly mess.
    It struck me how beautiful she was. I usually knew when women liked me. With Charlotte… I wasn’t so sure. I followed her for a few minutes and watched her as she walked ahead of me. Lucy and Ted were snogging on the sand between us. She turned around, walking back, and took her jacket off.  She looked up at me, scowling. I realized how much of a fucking creep I seemed like right at that moment, so I quickly turned around. I could feel her eyes on my back. To distract myself, I glumly struck up a conversation with Lucy and Ted.
    As she walked closer, I gleefully realized her borrowed shirt was slightly see-through. I couldn’t bring myself to look away. I didn’t care how I looked to her anymore. Because all I wanted to do right then and there was to run over to her, grab her, and kiss her. I turned around and walked back to the horses so that she wouldn’t see me adjust my pants.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    That night for dinner, I’d decided to do some personal grooming, which started with trying to tame my wild mess of hair. It was dark and straight, and even though I kept it relatively short, it stuck out in all different directions. I showered, combed it, and sprayed it with hairspray. I trimmed my beard. I hardly ever shaved – I liked stubble. I put on a nice sweater and pants. Not bad. I’d never really cared about my appearance before. But I wanted to look nice tonight.
    I walked into the dining room early, and before I realized what was happening, Charlotte ran into me, backing out of the doorway – she wasn’t looking and tripped over me. I caught her as we collided; my hands gripped her waist.
    "Easy, there,” I said, gruffly. I liked the feeling of my hands on her way too much.
    "Thanks." She turned around and smiled. "I didn’t want to disturb them," she whispered, pointing to Lucy and Ted. I looked over at them.
    "Yeah, it’s a little sickening," I said, grinning.
    "Look at that, an actual smile,” she said, teasingly. I saw a coquettish sparkle in her eyes.
    "It takes me a while to warm up to people I guess.” The thing was; it did take me a while to warm up to people. I wasn’t exactly a kind, warm person right off the bat. I used to be. Until the accident. But with Charlotte, I wanted to open up to her. I wanted to get to know her. I just couldn’t figure out why, and I didn’t trust myself.
    "I can respect that,” she answered.
    She looked at me wantonly and my breathing became shallow. I was glad I was wearing thick jeans, because they concealed my obvious erection. Being in such close proximity to her was making me crazy. She’d crossed her arms, and she was looking at me all doe-eyed again. I put an arm on the wall behind her, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. I could smell her shampoo, but I wasn’t even sure if it was shampoo – it was just