Before the Dawn Read Free

I watched while he fished for his key without success, and then hopelessly rattled the front door handle.
    He slouched back out onto the pavement, kicking the stones with his trainers, his oversized black hoodie making him a big, dark blur (the local comprehensive's uniforms are all black--they make them look like gangsters, in my opinion).
    I knew his mother Alix (why the i?) didn't return home from work till sixish, so Jamie was on his for two hours at least. Then with a flutter of both fear and excitement, I grabbed my umbrella from the stand and opened the front door.
    "Jamie! Are you locked out?" I called. "You can come wait here, if you like."
    I watched indecision flit across his boy-man features; I knew what he was thinking: What was preferable? Two hours in the rain or two hours of conversation with an old bat like me?
    Not that I'm that old. I'm forty-six. But to Jamie, I'm sure I appeared ancient.
    Finally he shrugged and said, "Yeah, all right," and slouched into my front hallway.
    For a moment I was quite taken aback by my decision--and his presence. He was so large, so young, so male. Even my husband didn't affect me the way Jamie did. When he took off his trainers I could smell wet socks. Wet boy. I couldn't decide if it was a scent I liked or not.
    "Come in, come in," I finally said, and I ushered him into the kitchen. Somewhere I found orange squash and a packet of ginger biscuits. Jamie glanced at these refreshments with a dubious air, and I realised they were more suited for a toddler than a strapping young boy.
    "Eat up," I said cheerfully, but in my mind I was remembering to buy something he liked for next time. If there was a next time.
    I tried to make conversation for a few minutes, but it was awkward and really rather painful for both of us.
    "Perhaps you like the telly?" I finally ventured, and Jamie brightened.
    "Yeah, that would be good," he said and soon he was sprawled on my settee, watching something mindless on channel four, his mouth hanging half open.
    At six I started looking out for Alix, and when I saw her old rattle trap of a car pull up I hurried out.
    "Hi, Alix," I said in a cheerful voice that must have surprised her because we  hadn't ever shared much conversation. "I've got Jamie."
    "You've... what?" Alix looked tired and hassled and frankly nonplussed. I quickly explained the situation, Alix thanked me, snapped at a sulking Jamie, and then they were gone.
    Funny, how empty the house felt then.
    I mentioned it briefly to Brian when he arrived, passing it off as really a rather amusing way to pass the afternoon.
    "Why wasn't there a key under the doormat?" he demanded and I shrugged.
    "You know how people are these days. They never think."
    And that would have been the end of that, if Alix hadn't taken our little exchange to heart, and confided in me a month later that Jamie was slipping in his school work and needed some adult supervision after school to make sure he got his homework done.
    "I'd put him in the after school care," she said with a sigh, "but frankly they're overrun and hopeless."
    I made sympathetic noises, waited a moment, and then said, as if this was something that was just occurring to both of us, "why doesn't he come over to my house? I'm usually just puttering about in the afternoon--" my part-time job bookkeeping from home didn't seem worth mentioning-- "and I'd enjoy the company."
    "Would you?" Alix looked so pleased I knew she'd been hoping I would make that exact suggestion. "Would you?" she asked again and I smiled.
    "Yes," I said. "I would."
    Of course, Jamie didn't appreciate my company at first. But I was prepared for that. I'd bought things I thought he'd like, frozen pizza and disgustingly flavoured crisps and soda.
    "You must tell me what you like," I said gently, "and I'll be sure to have it for you."
    Jamie looked at me suspiciously for a moment, but there was a gleam in his eyes.
    Of course, part of the bargain was that I actually had to help him