Back To You Read Free Page A

me or not. We barely spoke anymore. Part of him died with my
mom, and our relationship hadn’t been the same ever since.
    I shook my head
abruptly, vowing in that moment to put the past behind me. These were exactly
the kind of thoughts that would distract me from success in boot camp. I needed
to focus on what would be, not what had been.
    I’d been
practicing the art of speed showering for a few months now. In record time, I’d
washed my body and what was left of my hair. Shaving fast was also required in
boot camp, so I’d taught myself to do that too. There was a lot of bloodshed
until I’d mastered that particular skill. Now I was a pro.
    On my desk chair,
there were a dark grey button up shirt, black slacks, and dress shoes. My
recruiter had once said that Marines always looked sharp, and that was
something I could get behind. Scrutinizing my reflection in the long mirror on
the back of my bedroom door, I realized that it was the same outfit that I had
worn the day I raised my right hand and swore an oath to God and country and
signed over my life to the United States government. In a matter of hours, I
would be boxing up these clothes and replacing them with whatever I was issued.
    With nothing left
to do to get ready, I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and opened my text
messages. I went to the folder of conversations between Ellie and me, and
paused with my thumb hovering over the on-screen keyboard. There were so many
things that I wanted to say to her, but I closed my eyes to block them out. What
could I possibly say without coming off as a total creeper? After my
alcohol-induced confession about my thoughts on her relationship with Tim, I
felt dumb enough already. On the one hand, she seemed totally pissed about me
butting into her relationship. On the other hand, there was chemistry between
us that was hard to miss. Fuck it. She had probably already forgotten about it.
Why make it awkward now?
    I settled on a
simple text. “Be back soon.”
    I quickly powered
off the phone and threw it in the top drawer of my nightstand, not wanting to
wait for Ellie’s reply. She was probably still sleeping anyway, but I didn’t
want to take the chance of seeing something that would only make leaving
harder.
    In the kitchen, I
checked the time. It would still be thirty minutes before my recruiter,
Sergeant Moore, would be there to pick me up. I grabbed a bagel out of the bag
by the fridge and popped it into the toaster. I leaned against the counter and
crossed my arms over my chest, settling in to wait for my breakfast to be done.
I grew restless within seconds and began pacing the kitchen. I scrubbed my
hands roughly over my clean-shaven face and freshly buzzed head.
    There was a
picture on the fridge of Ellie and me at graduation. I’d put it there because
it seemed like the right place for it. Isn’t that where parents displayed the
accomplishments of their children? I stared at smiling face of my best friend.
I had my arm around her shoulder and she was leaning into me, her body fit to
mine like a puzzle piece. The fact that I’d be spending the foreseeable future
without her was starting to sink in, and I didn’t like how it felt. I shook my
head and turned my back on the photo.
    We were friends.
It wasn’t a big deal that I knew how much I would miss her. It made sense that
the closest person in my life was the only person I was thinking about when I
was getting ready to leave. It didn’t mean anything. She had been my best
friend for the better part of the last damn decade, but I had this nagging
feeling in my stomach that things were changing between us. I sighed heavily,
knowing that anything more than friendship with Ellie wasn’t a good thing for
either of us. Regardless, the way she’d looked the other night in that dress
was frozen in my mind.
    “Were you going to
wake me up or just leave?” Dad’s gravelly voice from behind me made me jump.
    “Just leave,” I
answered bluntly, cursing myself