Baby Is Three Read Free Page A

lifted his arm so high he went on tiptoes, and with her other hand she felt his body, this side, that side. “You’re hiding something. What is it? Where is it? What were you playing with?”
    “Nothing. Reely, reely truly nothing,” gasped Bobby as she shook and patted. She wasn’t spanking. She never spanked. She did other things.
    “You’re being punished,” she said in her shrill angry whisper. “Stupid, stupid, stupid … too stupid to know you’re being punished.” She set him down with a thump and went to the door. “Don’t let me hear you laugh again. You’ve been bad, and you’re not being kept in this room to enjoy yourself. Now you stay here and think about how bad you are breaking windows. Tracking mud. Lying.”
    She went out and closed the door with a steadiness that was like slamming, but quiet. Bobby looked at the door and wondered for a moment about that broken window. He’d been terribly sorry; it was just that the golf ball bounced so hard. Daddy had told him he should be more careful, and he had watched sorrowfully while Daddy put in a new pane. Then Daddy had given him a little piece of putty to play with and asked him never to do it again and he’d promised not to. And the whole time Mommy Gwen hadn’t said a thing to him about it. She’d just looked at him every once in a while with her eyes and her mouth straight and thin, and she’d waited. She’d waited until Daddy went away.
    He went back to his sunbeam and forgot all about Mommy Gwen.
    After he’d made another butterfly and a dog’s head and an alligator on the wall, the sunbeam got so thin that he couldn’t make anything more, except, for a while, little black finger shadows that ran up and down the strip of light like ants on a matchstick. Soon there was no sunbeam at all, so he sat on the edge of his bed and watched the vague flickering of the something that lived in the end wall. It was a
different
kind of something. It wasn’t a good something and itwasn’t bad. It just lived there, and the difference between it and the other things, the butterflies and dogs and swans and eagles who lived there, was that the something didn’t need his hands to make it be alive. The something—stayed. Some day he was going to make a butterfly or a dog or a horse that would stay after he moved his hands away. Meanwhile, the only one who stayed, the only one who lived all the time in the shadow country, was this something that flickered up there where the two walls met the ceiling. “I’m going right in there and play with you,” Bobby told it. “You’ll see.”
    There was a red wagon with three wheels in the yard, and a gnarly tree to be climbed. Jerry came and called for a while, but Mommy Gwen sent him away.
“He’s been bad.”
So Jerry went away.
    Bad bad bad. Funny how the things he did didn’t used to be bad before Daddy married Mommy Gwen.
    Mommy Gwen didn’t want Bobby. That was all right—Bobby didn’t want Mommy Gwen either. Daddy sometimes said to grownup people that Bobby was much better off with someone to care for him. Bobby could remember ’way back when he used to say that with his arm around Mommy Gwen’s shoulders and his voice ringing. He could remember when Daddy said it quietly from the other side of the room, with a voice like an angry “I’m sorry.” And now, Daddy hadn’t said it at all for a long time.
    Bobby sat on the edge of his bed and hummed to himself, thinking these thoughts, and he hummed to himself and didn’t think of anything at all. He found a ladybug crawling up the dresser and caught it the careful way, circling it with his thumb and forefinger so that it crawled up on his hand by itself. Sometimes when you pinched them up they got busted. He stood on the windowsill and hunted until he found the little hole in the screen that the ladybug must have used to come in. He let the bug walk on the screen and guided it to the hole. It flew away, happy.
    The room was flooded with warm