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mumbled haltingly as I stumbled toward the door. Tears were threatening to spill over before I could make my escape. I paused at the door long enough to say, “I’ve had a bad day, really.”
    I found my way out of the building and wandered into the back yard. The wooden bulkhead edging the river made a great seat. I had just about gotten myself under control when I felt someone come up behind me.
    I didn’t have to look up to know it was Laura.
    “Okay, that was appalling. What the hell was that all about?”
    “I’ve had a bad day,” I repeated softly.
    “So you keep saying. Wanna tell me about it?”
    “No.”
    “How ’bout you do it anyway.” She sat down next to me and swung her long legs out over the water.
    “Beth and I broke up today.”
    “So? You’re always breaking up or getting back together. Call her tomorrow and tell her you’re sorry.”
    “It’s not like that this time. She broke up with me.”
    “Oh...oh my gosh.”
    “Yeah, I got the feeling it was pretty permanent this time.”
    “Will, I don’t know how to say this tactfully...”
    I snorted. “Since when have you been tactful?”
    “Point made. Okay then, have it your way. Why are you so beat up about Beth dumping you for a change?
    You’ve dumped her enough times. You don’t like being on the receiving end?”
    20

    REAP THE WHIRLWIND
    “It’s not that. Actually, I don’t really care about Beth that much. She was comfortable, familiar...I mean we’ve been together for years...but...”
    “A ‘but’ is never a good sign, sweetie, and there was always a ‘but’ with Beth.”
    “Yeah.”
    “So what’s really bothering you?”
    “Something she said. She said that I always put you and her second.”
    “How did I get into this?”
    “She said that I always put Joey first. Do you feel that way too?” I looked over at Laura for the first time. She was looking out over the river, the reflected light played softly over her even features. For a moment she didn’t answer. When she began to talk, I had to lean in closer to catch what she was saying.
    “You never knew this,” she said. “I never told anyone really, but I’ve had a huge crush on you for the longest time.”
    I opened my mouth, but she shook her head before I could speak. “Let me finish. I used to get so hurt whenever I would call you to do something and the answer was always Joey and I are doing this or Joey and I are doing that. It was even worse when it was Joey and I might be doing this or that. I wasn’t even competition with a possibility. After awhile, I guess I just accepted the fact that Joey would always get top billing when it came to you, but I still wanted to be close to you, so I infiltrated your little club. We became the three musketeers and we lived platonically ever after. All for one, right? As long as Joey was ‘the one.’ I got over you eventually. Now I wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything. Gabe knows I exist. He treats me right and I love 21

    JOSH ATEROVIS
    him. But to answer your question, yeah, I do feel as if I always came second to Joey.”
    “Why...why didn’t you ever say anything?”
    “Like what? Hey, Will, I’m in love with you but you treat me like dirt? Hey, Will, why is Joey so great?
    What’s wrong with me? Hey, Will, acknowledge that I exist, dammit? What was I supposed to say?” She swiped angrily at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. I had only seen Laura cry a few times as long as I had known her. It unnerved me worse than anything she had said.
    “I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I’m so sorry, Laura.”
    “It’s ancient history,” she said taking a deep breath.
    “I moved on. Like I said, Gabe is the greatest. I really do love him. Maybe I’m not as over you as I thought, but I am moving on.”
    We sat in silence for a few minutes.
    “Did you know Joey and Shelley were dating?” I said at last.
    Laura sighed. “He still comes first doesn’t he?”
    “I didn’t...it’s just...”
    “It’s okay. I should be used to it by now. Yeah, I knew.”
    “Why didn’t he tell me?” I