Ashes to Ashes Read Free

long. Just enough to scribble a note for Mary.
    Yo. When you get this, find me.
    I miss you. Hope you’re okay.
    â€”K
    I’ve just slipped the note inside Mary’s locker when I notice that it’s missing its padlock.
    I open the door, hoping to see her jacket hanging inside, but the thing is freaking cleaned out. Not, like, the way some nerds do so they’re neat and organized at the beginning of a semester. It’s completely empty. Just my folded-up piece of notebook paper at the bottom.
    I can think of two possibilities. Either Mary switched lockers or she switched schools.
    No. There’s no way she left Jar Island without telling us. Even if she did find out about Reeve and Lillia, she wouldn’t dick out on me and not say good-bye. She knows I care about her. She knows I’m her friend.
    At least, I hope she does.

Chapter Three
LILLIA
    P EOPLE HAVE BEEN LEAVING FLOWERS in Rennie’s locker, poking them through the vents. I’m careful when I open the door, so the flowers don’t fall onto the floor. The inside of her locker door has pictures of the cheerleading squad, her and Ash, her and Reeve. None of us. The one of us down by the beach is gone. It was the summer after ninth grade, and we were wearing sherbet-colored bikini tops and making silly faces into the camera. I wonder if she ripped it up or if she just threw it away. I haven’t gone through any of our photo albums yet. I can’t. It hurts too bad.
    Methodically I start separating her personal things from the textbooks I have to return to Mr. Randolph. I throw away a package of doughnuts, a spiral notebook with only one page of notes inside, half a pack of old gum, and a fuzzy black hair tie. I falter when I get to her favorite lip gloss and her black compact mirror—would Paige want to keep this stuff? Probably not, but maybe just in case? I put that stuff into the cardboard box Mr. Randolph gave me, along with a long cardigan, a scarf, and a few binders.
    â€œI was starting to think maybe you died too.”
    I turn around. It’s Kat, with her bag slung over her shoulder. Her hair is piled on her head in a greasy bun, and strands are coming out the back, and she has dark circles under her eyes. She looks terrible.
    â€œSorry, bad joke,” she says with a grimace.
    â€œHey,” I say. “Kat, I’m so sorry I—”
    Kat waves her hand, like Forget it , and I’m relieved. She hitches her bag up on shoulder. “Yo, have you seen Mary today?”
    I shake my head.
    â€œI went by her locker to put a note inside, and it was cleaned out.” Kat chews on her fingernail. “Did you ever tell her what happened with you and Reeve?’
    Biting my lip, I say, “I’ve been meaning to, but things have been so crazy . . .”
    â€œMaybe she found out somehow and that’s why she’s been MIA.” Kat shoves her hands into her pockets. “What’s going on with you and Tabatsky now? Are you a couple ?”
    The derision in her voice makes me want to curl up and die. “No! We are definitely not a couple. We aren’t anything.”
    â€œI’m not accusing you, Lil. I mean . . . it is what it is. I just want us to be real with each other.”
    I look around before I take a breath and start over. “That stuff with Reeve, it’s over. It was just that one night and it hasn’t happened again. And I’m not purposefully avoiding you guys either. I’ve been at Paige’s every day with Ash and everybody, trying to get her to eat. She’s a mess. All she does is sleep and cry. It’s been really hard.”
    â€œWell, at least you’ve got people around you. I mean, who the eff am I supposed to cry with? Pat? My dad? They don’t get it. I mean, sure, they feel sad about what happened to her. But nobody knew Ren the way we did.” Kat’s voice cracks on Rennie’s name.
    â€œI’m