All These Things I've Done Read Free

market.
    ‘Look on the bright side. You can still have as much of the host as you want,’ Mother Piousina replied.
    I took the slips and thanked Mother Piousina. For all the good lighting candles would do, I thought bitterly. I was pretty sure my father was in Hell.
    After giving my vouchers to a nun with a wicker ticket basket and a box of votives, I went into the chapel and lit a candle for my mother.
    I prayed that, despite having married the head of the Balanchine crime family, Mom somehow wasn’t in Hell.
    I lit a candle for my father.
    I prayed that Hell wasn’t so bad, even for a murderer.
    I missed them both so much.
    My best friend, Scarlet, was waiting for me in the hallway outside the chapel. ‘Nice work skipping fencing on the first day, Miss Balanchine,’ she said, linking her arm through mine. ‘Don’t worry. I covered for you. I said you were having scheduling issues.’
    ‘Thanks, Scarlet.’
    ‘No problem. I can already see exactly what sort of year this is going to be. Shall we go to the dining hall?’
    ‘Do I have a choice?’
    ‘Yes, you could spend the rest of the school year hiding in the church,’ she said.
    ‘Maybe I’ll even become a nun and swear off boys forever.’
    Scarlet turned to study me. ‘No. Your face wouldn’t be good in a habit.’
    On the walk to the dining hall, Scarlet filled me in on what Gable had been telling people, but I had overheard most of it already. The most important points were that he had broken up with me because he thought I might be a caffeine addict, because I was ‘kind of a slut’ and because the start of a school year was a good opportunity for ‘taking out the trash’. I comforted myself with the thought that if Dad had been alive, he probably could have had Gable Arsley killed. ‘So you know,’ Scarlet said, ‘I did defend your honour.’
    I was sure Scarlet probably had but no one ever listened to her. People thought of her as the crazy drama girl. Pretty and ridiculous.
    ‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘everyone knows that Gable Arsley is a horse’s backside. The whole thing’ll blow over by tomorrow. Everyone’s only talking about it because they’re losers with no lives of their own. And also, it’s the first day of school so nothing else has happened yet.’
    ‘He called Leo a retard. Did I tell you that part?’
    ‘No!’ Scarlet said. ‘That’s pure evil!’
    We were standing in front of the double doors that led into the dining hall. ‘I hate him,’ I said. ‘I really and truly hate him.’
    ‘I know,’ Scarlet agreed, pushing the doors open. ‘I never knew what you saw in him in the first place.’ She was a good friend.
    The dining hall had wood-panelled walls and black-and-white linoleum tiles like a chessboard, which made me feel like a piece in a chess game. I saw Gable seated at the head of one of the long tables by the window. He had his back to the doors, so he didn’t see me, though.
    Lunch that day was lasagne, which I have always detested. The red sauce reminded me of blood and guts, and the ricotta cheese of brain matter. I’d seen guts and brain matter for real so I knew what I was talking about. In any case, I wasn’t hungry any more.
    Once we sat down, I pushed my tray towards Scarlet. ‘You want?’
    ‘One’s more than enough, thanks.’
    ‘All right, let’s talk about something else,’ I said.
    ‘Other than—’
    ‘Don’t you say that name, Scarlet Barber!’
    ‘Other than the horse’s backside,’ Scarlet said, and we both laughed. ‘Well, there’s a most promising new boy in my French class. Actually, he kind of looks like a new man. He’s all, I don’t know, manly. His name’s Goodwin but he goes by Win. Isn’t that OMG?’
    ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
    ‘Um, it stands for something. Dad said it used to mean, maybe, “amazing”? Or something like that? He wasn’t sure. Ask your nana, OK?’
    I nodded. Scarlet’s dad was an archaeologist and he always smelt like garbage