All of Me Read Free

an hour or two a day, I rejected the very idea. How would you react if someone told you that?
    Were they saying I was a role that this Kim Noble woman likes to play? Or that she’d made me up like a character in a film? Or that she changed into me? Were they suggesting I was Frankenstein’s monster?
    That wasn’t what they were saying at all, I know that now. But I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t want to understand. I was just like all the other personalities who are still refusing to listen today.
    One day, perhaps, they’ll accept the truth as I did and then their lives will make a bit more sense. As much as I hated discovering I was just another personality, the relief of not being so confused all the time was incredible. Whether I liked it or not, at least everything began to make sense. Even that feeling of always being in a rush, needing to get things done, of time running out, suddenly became clear. Without realising why, I’d somehow always known I only ever had a few minutes to achieve things.
    Bonny took charge shortly after our daughter Aimee was born. She is the one who fought the council for access after Aimee was snatched at birth by social services. Unfortunately the stress of that struggle took its toll. If it hadn’t, if Bonny hadn’t cracked up under the pressure, if she were still the dominant personality, then I wouldn’t be writing this book and we would never have become artists.
    And I would still be in denial about DID.
    When Bonny retreated to the background, Aimee was devastated. Bonny is the one she called ‘Mum’. It took a while for me to earn that honour.
    Before Bonny there was Hayley. I only discovered her when I found lots of old bills lying around addressed to her in Richmond, Surrey. That’s where Hayley lived during the 1980s – while Bonny lived in Croydon and I had my own flat in Fulham. Three addresses for three different personalities – I don’t know how we afforded it. Just one example of how complicated our lives have been.
    Hayley was a force of nature – she had to be, considering some of the things she endured. During her six or seven years as the dominant personality we got our first – and only – long-term job. Unfortunately, that was around the time that she was exposed to the activities of a paedophile ring. When Hayley reported the ring to the police, she received anonymous warnings to be quiet. Threats of physical retaliation escalated until one day a man threw acid in her face and someone tried to set light to her bed with her in it. Fire is the most harrowing experience for any human and it has continued to affect us all. The good news is Hayley was a strong person – at least for a while – and she continued her fight against the attackers. The bad news is the effort caused her to burn up. Like Bonny, after years of fighting for our rights she faded into the background, cowed and exhausted.
    And then there are the others, the ones who come out sometimes every day or every week or every month. They all have their own patterns, their own triggers. For one it’s water – one of the personalities, Spirit of the Water, can’t resist coming out whenever there’s a toe to be dipped or a shower to be had. For another it’s food. Judy takes over for most of my mealtimes. Salome, a highly religious Catholic woman, always emerges when we go near a church.
    And then there are the children.
    Katie, at three, is the youngest alter to regularly come out. She used to be around a lot more when Aimee was younger because they loved playing with each other. Sadly, the older Aimee gets, the less Katie wants to play with her. She just wishes Aimee would stop ageing – like her.
    At least Aimee had some fun times with Katie. I don’t think the little boy called Diabalus has had much laughter in his life but I don’t know because he doesn’t speak English. When he first came out he only wrote in Latin. After that he spoke to our therapist in French. If Oprah thought my