Alice in Verse: The Lost Rhymes of Wonderland Read Free Page B

wafting scents into the night
         Of sweetest sizzling meat.
    ‘The time has come,’ the Oysters cried,
         ‘To settle down to tea—
    To break the bread and thickly spread
         The lard with zesty brie!’
    ‘A little spice, that would be nice,’
         The eldest did agree.
    ‘It was so very kind of you
         To grace us with this feast!’
    But no reply the Walrus gave,
         Which scorned them not the least—
    For full his maw and thick his craw
         With vinegar and yeast.
    ‘It’s seems a shame,’ the Builder sobbed,
         ‘To bring this feast to shut.’
    To which the eldest did agree,
         And none there could rebut—
    And so they stoked the waning fire
         To satisfy their glut .
    ‘O Carpenter, we weep for you!
         Dear Walrus, we lament
    The boiling sea—and cabbages—
         Those kings of malcontent—
    The shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
         And all that they ferment.’
    ‘A pleasant run, you both have had—
         The sights that you have seen!
    But now we must be trotting home,’
         They sighed, with sated mien—

    And this was scarcely odd, because
         They’d licked their plates quite clean.



T HE B ATTLE
    ‘Now we’re done with our tale, and we must have a fight:
         We don’t care if it lasts very long!
    And though each of us feels inexorably right,
         We’re not certain the other is wrong!’
    ‘Now I’ve got a headache—it’s terribly grim—
         But the battle cannot be postponed!’
    ‘And I’ve got a toothache—I’m far worse than him—
         But a rematch cannot be condoned!’
    ‘We shall fight until six, and then dine until dawn,
         And then sleep until midday or one!
    Then we’ll take up the battle—if but for the rattle—
         And cut down the trees, every one!’
    ‘Now I generally hit everything I can see—
         Or at least what I see when excited!’
    ‘And I hit all things within reach of my sword—
         Whether seeing or as yet unsighted!’
    ‘Let the battle commence! Raise your sword, if you’ve one—
         And, if not, simply raise your umbrella!
    But we must begin quickly! The sky’s growing dark!
         And by night we recite a cappella! ’
    ‘Are you leaving so soon? We have yet to begin!
         If you go now, you’ll miss all the action!
    If you must, then be off to the court of the Queen—
         There you’ll find a most pleasant distraction!’
    ‘They have games in the garden, and tarts served with tea—
         Though their manners are often quite coarse!’
    ‘They have trials, tribulations, and all sorts of glee—
         Though they seldom show any remorse!’
    ‘So join them at once on the rose garden green,
         But be mindful of what we have said—
    For the game that you win is a loss to the Queen,
         And a loss thus will cost you your head!’





I N THE G ARDEN OF H EARTS
    Now come to the place at the edge of the wood,
         Where the roses are lovely—yet white —
    Where the Five and the Two and the Seven of Spades
         Have been frantically painting all night.
    Come take your flamingo and hammer the hog
         Through the wickets of cards on the green—
    But be mindful to send it straight into the bog
         Lest you challenge the wrath of the Queen!
    Now look to the skies where the Cat’s clever eyes
         Doth alight to the fright of the ring—
    And the utter disdain of the monarchs who reign:
         That a cat may dare look at a King!
    Come walk with the Duchess: she’s done with her fit,
         And her manner is oddly serene;
    She will give you the moral to every last wit
         That has ever endeavored or been.
    Now follow the Gryphon, and hear the sad tale
         Of the Mock Turtle’s school in the sea—
    Where the Lobster Quadrille, if you won’t or you