After the Hurt Read Free

hadn’t been so blinded by her grief and guilt over her mom’s death then maybe she would have let those around her help her through the pain. Her mental state coupled with her flaming temper had been a recipe for disaster. She looked at Tank and was at a loss for words. She hadn’t come back with a solid plan. Once again, she was flying by the seat of her pants and hoping for the best. She searched his face, looking for something that might indicate his readiness to talk.
    There was nothing. She suddenly understood that no matter what she said to him tonight, it would fall on deaf ears. He was still mad, probably hated her, so trying to explain things now was likely useless. But what did she expect? She couldn’t tell him how much she’d missed him or how much she wanted him. Needed him. Everything about him; his voice, his touch, his laugh—which she wondered if she’d ever hear again—she missed with such a burning intensity her chest hurt. He wouldn’t believe anything she had to say now; the anger, maybe even confusion, emanating from him confirmed that.
    Coming home to Tank and the life she’d abandoned was becoming one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. Not only would she have to deal with the emotional impact, but she’d have to find financial stability as well. She’d donated a large sum of her savings to the hospice she’d volunteered at in Bali, leaving little for herself. In hindsight, Pepper wished she had thought it through a bit more instead of reacting so emotionally, but they needed the money more than she did. Which brought to mind the second reason she was here, needing the income from her share of the Octagon, a subject Pepper was scared to death to broach with Tank. Perhaps first he needed to get used to the idea she was back.
    “Well, Tank, let me see. Why am I here?” She refused to look away. He was so intense right now, reminding her that he’d once told her he could drown in the “violet pools” of her eyes. How cliché, but it did make her wonder if her eyes still held the same magical spell. Before telling him more, she waited to see if his frosty demeanor would crack a little bit.
    Her heart leapt when she saw something flicker in his expression. Was he remembering too? She touched the tip of her tongue to her bottom lip and Tank’s gaze followed, watching the movement.
    “Yes.” His voice was low and she strained to hear him over the rushing of blood in her ears. “Why are you here?”
    Pepper pulled together her strength. It was time to man up; she was fighting for her life and her future. She leaned forward and laid her hands over his. He didn’t flinch or show any response to her touch. Pepper fought hard not to show how much touching him affected her. How could he not feel their connection? Touching him now, even if it was only the backs of his hands, made her never want to let him go. She held his hands more firmly in case he tried to pull away. It broke her heart that he seemed completely unaware of the fact that she was almost dying inside. He’d known her so well; how could he not see she’d never lost her love for him? Pepper organized her thoughts, shielding her true feelings. At least for now. Her fragile heart depended on it.
    “I’m here to see you.” Surprised she sounded so calm when the riot of emotion inside her made her want to puke.
    One dark eyebrow arched up. “Me? After all this time?” He didn’t hide the sarcasm in his voice. “Not sure I believe that.”
    She gave him the most genuine smile she could muster under the circumstances, choosing to ignore the venom that seeped from every pore in his body. “Yes. You.”
    He turned one of his hands over, taking hers with it, wrapping his fingers around her wrist, tightening uncomfortably. Pepper willed herself to stay focused and not let him distract her.
    “Still the responsive little minx, aren’t you?”
    “Only with you, my love.” Pepper turned away from him to catch her