She blew a kiss to Roberto. “Máax, I’m telling the truth. You must go back and save this beautiful, smokin’ hot, young woman so she can fulfill her destiny. She needs you. You. You are the only one who can pull this off. So I’m asking, please save her? And hurry up with the answer because Roberto is about to bust a triple-stitch zipper if I don’t give him his Cimi-treat.”
Roberto crossed his arms and nodded with a pissed-off expression. “She hasn’t put out in months. I am so aroused that even you look enticing, Máax.”
Cimil burst with laughter. Roberto had made a joke. Not so easy for a five-thousand-year-old ex-pharaoh vampire. “Good one, honey. I’d high-five you, but that would be hard to do through the glass.”
“Perhaps we can have sex instead,” Roberto stated dryly.
“Through the glass?” she asked. That would be even more difficult, but if he was game to try, then so was she.
“I am able to open your cell, Cimil,” Roberto clarified.
“Not so kinky, but okay.” She winked. “Just as soon as Máax makes up that empty head of his.” Cimil held out both palms, mimicking a scale. “Save hot chick and humanity? Or be a sucky coward, and let us all die. Hmmm… decisions, decisions.”
“Precisely how does the pathetic mortal woman die, and how do I save her?” he asked.
Pathetic? Emotionally, he was a pre-Cretaceous amoeba compared to the woman. “Have no clue and ummm… no clue.”
“Why not? And why the fuck not?”
“They’re called visions,” she whispered, “not detailed instruction manuals to thwarting apocalyptic events.” Of course, even if she did know, she would never tell. Kinda ruins the challenge. But not like Máax could resist helping his brethren, or anyone for that matter. Helping others was his Achilles’ heel. Throw a little danger, risk, and rule breaking in there, and he was happier than an evil vampire with an ice-cream truck.
Máax chuckled like a chump. “Fuck it. I don’t have anything better to do.”
Ha! Knew it! Sucka!
“I assume you have another tablet?” he asked. “I will need two in order to travel there and back.” She knew Máax already possessed one tablet, which he’d snagged from that Spanish vampire slash incubus, Antonio, whom their sister Ixtab had hooked up with. As for the other he required, Cimil had a couple stashed away for this very occasion. The tablets were the size of small headstones, a few inches thick, and made of black jade—a rare material mined from caverns beneath the River of Tlaloc, apowerful river of energy that flowed between the human world and the deity realm. In short, a group of evil Mayan priests, known as the Maaskab, had discovered the supernatural material ages ago and learned to manipulate energy with it, mostly dark energy. It did all sorts of wonderful things such as blunt or neutralize a deity’s power or open portals to just about anywhere on Earth at any point in time.
Oh! I should go visit the dinosaurs again!
Really? Did you not learn your lesson last time? Poor, poor dinosaurs. All your fault…
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
And clearing throat… “Of course I have a tablet! Roberto’s men will give it to you. Oh! And Máax?”
Get ready for one hell of a ride, my dear brother. The SS Ashli is about to disembark, and this voyage is going to make your bad boy, overbloated deity ego whimper like a sissy.
“Yes, Cimil?” Máax rumbled.
“Whatever you do, do not, and I repeat, do not , take the woman from her time. Do you understand? The woman must remain where she is and be allowed to age the old-fashioned way. No exceptions.”
“Do I want to ask why?” he asked.
“No, you do not, but I will tell you anyway. I’m in a gracious mood.” She took a deep, happy breath. “In order for events to play out precisely and stop us from going to war, the woman must remain where she is in 1993. Alive. Any shortcuts or additional changes to the past would create a different
Roberto crossed his arms and nodded with a pissed-off expression. “She hasn’t put out in months. I am so aroused that even you look enticing, Máax.”
Cimil burst with laughter. Roberto had made a joke. Not so easy for a five-thousand-year-old ex-pharaoh vampire. “Good one, honey. I’d high-five you, but that would be hard to do through the glass.”
“Perhaps we can have sex instead,” Roberto stated dryly.
“Through the glass?” she asked. That would be even more difficult, but if he was game to try, then so was she.
“I am able to open your cell, Cimil,” Roberto clarified.
“Not so kinky, but okay.” She winked. “Just as soon as Máax makes up that empty head of his.” Cimil held out both palms, mimicking a scale. “Save hot chick and humanity? Or be a sucky coward, and let us all die. Hmmm… decisions, decisions.”
“Precisely how does the pathetic mortal woman die, and how do I save her?” he asked.
Pathetic? Emotionally, he was a pre-Cretaceous amoeba compared to the woman. “Have no clue and ummm… no clue.”
“Why not? And why the fuck not?”
“They’re called visions,” she whispered, “not detailed instruction manuals to thwarting apocalyptic events.” Of course, even if she did know, she would never tell. Kinda ruins the challenge. But not like Máax could resist helping his brethren, or anyone for that matter. Helping others was his Achilles’ heel. Throw a little danger, risk, and rule breaking in there, and he was happier than an evil vampire with an ice-cream truck.
Máax chuckled like a chump. “Fuck it. I don’t have anything better to do.”
Ha! Knew it! Sucka!
“I assume you have another tablet?” he asked. “I will need two in order to travel there and back.” She knew Máax already possessed one tablet, which he’d snagged from that Spanish vampire slash incubus, Antonio, whom their sister Ixtab had hooked up with. As for the other he required, Cimil had a couple stashed away for this very occasion. The tablets were the size of small headstones, a few inches thick, and made of black jade—a rare material mined from caverns beneath the River of Tlaloc, apowerful river of energy that flowed between the human world and the deity realm. In short, a group of evil Mayan priests, known as the Maaskab, had discovered the supernatural material ages ago and learned to manipulate energy with it, mostly dark energy. It did all sorts of wonderful things such as blunt or neutralize a deity’s power or open portals to just about anywhere on Earth at any point in time.
Oh! I should go visit the dinosaurs again!
Really? Did you not learn your lesson last time? Poor, poor dinosaurs. All your fault…
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
And clearing throat… “Of course I have a tablet! Roberto’s men will give it to you. Oh! And Máax?”
Get ready for one hell of a ride, my dear brother. The SS Ashli is about to disembark, and this voyage is going to make your bad boy, overbloated deity ego whimper like a sissy.
“Yes, Cimil?” Máax rumbled.
“Whatever you do, do not, and I repeat, do not , take the woman from her time. Do you understand? The woman must remain where she is and be allowed to age the old-fashioned way. No exceptions.”
“Do I want to ask why?” he asked.
“No, you do not, but I will tell you anyway. I’m in a gracious mood.” She took a deep, happy breath. “In order for events to play out precisely and stop us from going to war, the woman must remain where she is in 1993. Alive. Any shortcuts or additional changes to the past would create a different
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