Accidentally...Over?: Accidentally Yours 5 Read Free

do you see why I had to lock everyone up?”
    Máax grumbled several unhappy thoughts in the key of F—effing, eff, eff, eff, and effing hell. “If the godsshould be locked up to prevent this war, then why are you allowing me to remain free?” Máax asked.
    Here came the hard part. She needed to convince Máax to once again break the sacred law banning time travel. It was expressly prohibited, not to mention difficult and extremely risky. However, Máax had already broken the rule a thousand times, landing him in hot water. Not that he cared. Bad boy alert! Sure, he’d had a perfectly good reason for each offense, but that didn’t mean there weren’t consequences. The last time he’d been caught, he’d been banished, stripped of his powers, and left without a human shell. Yep… powerless and invisible for ten thousand years. Again, not that he cared.
    ’Cause bad boys rule!
    That said, he’d broken the law once again ( so, so bad! ) to save his sister, Ixtab ( so, so thoughtful! ), and if they managed to stop the apocalypse, he’d be tried again. This time, he’d be entombed for eternity. So, so sad. On the other hand, he was going down anyway, so…
    Cimil cleared her throat. “I had another vision. I believe it’s the precise moment in time where everything could be put back on course.”
    “Do you truly expect me to believe that?” Máax scoffed.
    Yes! No. Maybe? “Okay. Technically, you’d be a baboon’s ass. A stinky one at that.”
    Máax’s laugh was laced with sinister arrogance and just a smidgen of “you fucking amuse me.”
    “Let us pretend for a moment that I believed you,” he said. “Then why do I have the feeling you’re going to ask me to do something unlawful?”
    Cimil clapped. “Ding, ding, ding! I need you to go backa few teeny tiny decades, to 1993, find a certain chicky-boo, and make sure she doesn’t croak prematurely.”
    “Why?”
    Oh. There was no good way to explain it so she’d have to make something up. Hmmm… what story would make him believe? She tapped the side of her mouth.
    “You are getting ready to lie. Aren’t you?” Máax asked.
    Dammit! She sucked at lying. “Yes. But only so you’ll do what I want.”
    “Try telling the truth, Cimil,” Máax growled.
    But I suck at that, too.
    Okay. Deep breath. Sell the story. Be the story.
    Right.
    “At some point in the future, the woman will act as a neutral party and defuse the tension between us. If she dies, no neutral party. And what’s a party without Switzerland? They make awesome cheese. Minky loves eating the holes.”
    “I’m not going to risk my ass to save some woman simply because we had a little earthquake.”
    “I’m telling you, Máax, it’s the apocalypse. And… make that two earthquakes,” Cimil said cheerfully just as the ground rumbled like a ravenous, subterranean beast. Once again, sirens blasted through the prison.
    “I don’t give a shit!” Máax bellowed over the noise. “I refuse to do any more of your bidding. It always leads to trouble.”
    True. Máax had, in fact, been doing a lot of bidding for her lately, but he had to attempt this one final task. Not only did her latest vision reveal that saving the woman was their last chance to put things back on course andavoid the apocalypse, but it was also Máax’s one shot at happiness. Why? Well, that was something he’d soon find out.
    Okay, time for a new tactic. Speak to his extreme horniness. Poor guy is 70K and has never been kissed. Kind of like Drew Barrymore, but seven feet tall. And invisible. And naked. And a dude. Okay. Nothing like Drew Barrymore. Dammit, I can’t hear myself think!
    “Roberto!” Cimil yelled. “Have someone turn that crap off, or I’ll start turning vampires into insects! And they won’t be cool ones, either! I’m talking pill bugs!”
    Roberto signaled one of his men to the caged guard booth to address the noise, which he did by punching the communication console.
    “Thank you, baby.”