A Murder Is Announced Read Free

murdered. If someone suddenly puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers, ‘You’re dead,’ I know my heart will give such a big bump that perhaps it really might kill me! Do you think that’s likely?”
    â€œNo, Bunch. I think you’re going to live to be an old, old woman—with me.”
    â€œAnd die on the same day and be buried in the same grave. That would be lovely.”
    Bunch beamed from ear to ear at this agreeable prospect.
    â€œYou seem very happy, Bunch?” said her husband, smiling.
    â€œWho’d not be happy if they were me?” demanded Bunch, ratherconfusedly. “With you and Susan and Edward, and all of you fond of me and not caring if I’m stupid … And the sun shining! And this lovely big house to live in!”
    The Rev. Julian Harmon looked round the big bare dining room and assented doubtfully.
    â€œSome people would think it was the last straw to have to live in this great rambling draughty place.”
    â€œWell, I like big rooms. All the nice smells from outside can get in and stay there. And you can be untidy and leave things about and they don’t clutter you.”
    â€œNo labour-saving devices or central heating? It means a lot of work for you, Bunch.”
    â€œOh, Julian, it doesn’t. I get up at half past six and light the boiler and rush around like a steam engine, and by eight it’s all done. And I keep it nice, don’t I? With beeswax and polish and big jars of Autumn leaves. It’s not really harder to keep a big house clean than a small one. You go round with mops and things much quicker, because your behind isn’t always bumping into things like it is in a small room. And I like sleeping in a big cold room—it’s so cosy to snuggle down with just the tip of your nose telling you what it’s like up above. And whatever size of house you live in, you peel the same amount of potatoes and wash up the same amount of plates and all that. Think how nice it is for Edward and Susan to have a big empty room to play in where they can have railways and dolls’ tea-parties all over the floor and never have to put them away? And then it’s nice to have extra bits of the house that you can let people have to live in. Jimmy Symes and Johnnie Finch—they’d have had to live with their in-laws otherwise. And you know, Julian, it isn’t nice living with your in-laws. You’re devoted to Mother, but you wouldn’treally have liked to start our married life living with her and Father. And I shouldn’t have liked it, either. I’d have gone on feeling like a little girl.”
    Julian smiled at her.
    â€œYou’re rather like a little girl still, Bunch.”
    Julian Harmon himself had clearly been a model designed by Nature for the age of sixty. He was still about twenty-five years short of achieving Nature’s purpose.
    â€œI know I’m stupid—”
    â€œYou’re not stupid, Bunch. You’re very clever.”
    â€œNo, I’m not. I’m not a bit intellectual. Though I do try … And I really love it when you talk to me about books and history and things. I think perhaps it wasn’t an awfully good idea to read aloud Gibbon to me in the evenings, because if it’s been a cold wind out, and it’s nice and hot by the fire, there’s something about Gibbon that does, rather, make you go to sleep.”
    Julian laughed.
    â€œBut I do love listening to you, Julian. Tell me the story again about the old vicar who preached about Ahasuerus.”
    â€œYou know that by heart, Bunch.”
    â€œJust tell it me again. Please. ”
    Her husband complied.
    â€œIt was old Scrymgour. Somebody looked into his church one day. He was leaning out of the pulpit and preaching fervently to a couple of old charwomen. He was shaking his finger at them and saying, ‘Aha! I know what you are thinking. You think that the Great Ahasuerus of the First