again anyway in case it was mistaken. It wasn't. I tried every single spelling combination I could think of until I was a smelly, sweating ball of frustration. Why was it so damn difficult? I mean, what the hell did Asia call its youth, anyway?
It followed that Asians would be found in Asia, not like that entire Canada/Canadian thing a friend played with my mind about. Because of her, I could never keep them straight. Basically, she told me that if I went to Canada the people there would be called Canadans. Consequently, if I was among Canadians, wouldn't I have traveled to Canadia?
This is one of those reasons my parents tried to dissuade me from drinking at college. They knew that, with the friends I had, my young and naive existence would be confusing enough without alcohol.
I ended up leaving in disgust and headed back to my dorm.
* * * *
Why some parents ever complained about guys and girls living together in the same dorm building is beyond me. It wasn't like we were on the same floor and sharing showers and bathrooms or anything like that. Large metal doors separated the two sexes at all times.
Granted, that never really seemed to matter when it came time for the two sexes to partake in a little sex, but that's beside the point for the moment.
Guys and girls living together created a balance. One floor smelled like old sweat socks mixed with Old Spice and the next like perfume and potpourri room fresheners. One floor looked like the remnant of a World War II battlefield and the next the Rainbow Bridge. The whole thing evened out, and I came to think of it as like the collegiate version of yin and yang. Of course, the guys were constantly trying to stick their yang in every girl's yin.
Then too, many of the girls were using their yin to get all the cute guys’ yang. This effectively cut me out of the entire rat race, as I was neither interested in any girl's yin nor good-looking enough, in my opinion, at least, to attract one. I was also resolved to ignore any impulse towards any guy's yang. Again, it was a strange balance.
The lobby of the dorm was a flurry of activity when I walked in. Going on were some intense study groups in one of the well-lit alcoves, drug deals being made in the dimly lit one, three guys bragging about a recent female score and realizing they'd all had the same girl one right after the other, a resident assistant complaining to the building manager about a dead rabbit found impaled on his door with a hunting knife, two people bitching about the latest music review in the paper, seven people trying to get the combination locks undone on their mailbox and one girl on the phone bragging to her friend that she had just slept with three guys one right after the other and, unbeknownst to them, given them crabs.
I didn't know how I wanted to remember my college years, but this definitely wasn't it. There was no way I could blend in with these people, at least not at this stage of my life. Hell, I was still a virgin, and it wasn't as if I wanted to be one. It's just that I never went out of my way in the past to make myself physically desirable, like Fabio, so why should I do it now?
It had occurred to me that if someone was going to like me, then they should like me for who I really was. While I thought that was a very solid and honest philosophy to live by, it certainly didn't get me many dates or even much interest. In fact, it made me wonder whatever happened to my charm, or at least the persuasive nature I'd had in grade school through the first part of high school. Of course, that was with guys, and that time of my life was forever over with.
Truth be told, I guess I was still a bit curious about other guys but decided to keep it to myself, since that kind of curiosity was no longer considered innocent. Hell, it could get the crap kicked out of me, and that thought alone was enough to make me continue burying my feelings. Weren't there people out there who remained curious, too? Was I
Glenna Vance, Tom Lacalamita