A Deadly Shade of Gold Read Free Page B

after a day and a night of searching for him, find him at last, see his blurred self-destructive grin as he stared at her from the tangled bed, with all the naked fattiness of Sandra snoring placidly beside him.
    She turned on her heel quickly, closed the door with barely a sound, and went away from there, her heart breaking anew with every step she took.
    By the next day he was packed and gone. I helped her try to find him. She put a thousand dollars into agency fees without their finding any trace of him.
    After a while you give up. Or maybe you never give up.
    Nora straightened up at last, weak and dizzy and held the slim tree with both hands and stood with her forehead resting against the soft silvery bark.
    "I must be a very attractive date," she said in a half whisper.

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    "It's been three years."
    "Not knowing if he was sick or dead or in trouble." She shivered visibly.
    I patted her shoulder. "Come on. Go freshen up and we'll get away from here."
    "When will he be here?"
    "Saturday"
    "What time?"
    "I don't know."
    "Will he... come to the shop?"
    "Or phone you. I don't know."
    "Does he know you've told me about him?"
    "Yes."
    "He hasn't found anybody else?"
    "Neither of you have. For the same reason."
    "I'm glad to have some warning, Trav. But I will be a complete wreck by Saturday."
    I waited in the lobby for her. When she was ready I drove to Bahia Mar. We could talk aboard the Busted Flush. Obviously she wanted to talk.
    I turned the heat up. I made her a tall mild drink. She took her shoes off and sat on the far curve of my yellow couch in the lounge, her legs tucked up, her color better, her frown thoughtful.
    "Damn it all, Trav, I just don't know how to handle it. Rush into his arms? I want to. But does he want me to? Or does he want to be punished? She was a dreadful little bit of nothing, you know.
    God, how I remember that whining little explanation." She imitated Sandra's immature little voice. " 'Miss Gardino, we just had a coupla drinks and you know, one thing led to another.
    Geez, I don't know where he went. I ast him and he pushed me away so hard I fell down. He just went.' "
    "I don't know how he wants you to act."
    "Boy, it was a real belt to the pride. My pride hurt so badly, I didn't really know he was gone until he'd been gone a month. The wedding was a month away. We were practically living together. That was no secret. And it was such a wonderful magic, Trav. Every time was a promise of forever. Wasn't I enough for him? That's what made it such a terrible slap in the face."
    "He was drinking."

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    "What started the drinking?"
    "Fright, maybe."
    "Of what?"
    "A real live complete entire woman can be a scary thing."
    "Did I come on too strong or something?"
    "You have to be what you are, Nora. The complete package."
    "Now I'm twenty-nine. Three lousy stinking wasted years. What did he say? Tell me some of his words."
    "Quote God how I want to see her unquote."
    She jumped up and went back and forth with panther stride. "What the hell did he think I was? A white plaster saint? A vision of perfection? Did he think I was so weak I couldn't handle a little ugliness? So okay! We'd have had a terrible couple of months. We'd have torn each other to ribbons. And I would have told him that if he ever did that to me again, I'd cut his heart out. But he didn't give me a chance! He didn't give us a chance. He ran, damn him!"
    "After he gave himself the excuse to run, Nora."
    She sat down abruptly and stared at me for a long time. "Sure," she said. "You can understand that better than I can, because you are one of those too, aren't you? One of those long distance runners. You wade around the edge, boy. But you never jump in. You go out on the end of the high board and bounce pretty and puff your chest, but you never take that big dive."
    "That's reasonably accurate."
    Her face twisted. "I'm sorry Trav. I haven't got the right."
    "Or maybe all the information. But no harm done."
    She hit her knee with