2 Unhitched Read Free

heir… who is on his way.
    Yes, Cinderella is having a baby. Of course, it’s the perfect pregnancy. Seven months in and not a single day of morning sickness. When I was pregnant with my child, I was sick to my stomach every day and put on forty pounds. And then there was that horrific, tragic birth…
    At last week’s EPA meeting—that’s Evil People Anonymous—a mandatory support group for former Faraway residents who have recovered from their addiction to evil like me, I confessed to having evil thoughts about my sister-in-law Cinderella. It was a stupid fantasy, but nonetheless evil.
    “Imagine if those annoying little bluebirds that Cinderella sings to attacked her,” I said in front of the entire group. HA! What an image! Miss Perfect Princess trapped in a storm of bird droppings! “For once, I’d like to see that perfect smile of hers disappear, and her perfectly coiffed blond hair get all messed up. And hear that sweet little voice croak,” I added with a wicked smile.
    There was dead silence in the room. Maybe I had gone a little too far. I couldn’t help it. I was after all once The Evil Queen. And then Hook, a recovering alcoholic, leaped up.
    “Yo, Ho, Ho,” he chortled. “You’re just jealous she’s pregnant. Let me help you out, babe.”
    I cringed. Not because the once and always swine, who couldn’t keep his hands off me at Faraway, hit on me, but because he was right. Damn it! I am jealous that Cinderella is having a baby.
    I’ll talk about it with Shrink. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. My bi-weekly appointment is in an hour. I’d better summon the coach. So much for my writing.
    Grabbing a cloak to shield me from the chilly autumn air, I whisk through the French doors of my office. Passing through the dining hall, I stop to gaze at the magnificent portrait that Gallant painted of me with Calla in my arms before our marriage. That and his portrait of Snow White are the two paintings he’s not including in his retrospective. They belong here in our house.
    No matter how many times I’ve stared at this masterpiece, it always makes me tingle all over. My eyes pass over the words Gallant inscribed on it in the lower right corner. “Forever in my heart.”
    Forever. I suddenly have one of my brainstorms. I know what I will give Gallant for our second anniversary. The love letter I wrote to him on the eve of his almost wedding to my evil mother. The letter I signed, Forever~Jane. Forever, as in I will always love you. For the rest of my life. Until death do us part.
    Whether we have a baby or not.
    Why didn’t I think of this before? As far as I know, he’s never seen it, never mentioned it once. I sealed it with my tears and hid it in the top drawer of his desk. Could it still be there? What a perfect anniversary gift it’ll make once I have it framed! Personal. Sentimental. Romantic. Forever.
    I scurry to the great room, straight to Gallant’s desk. My hands tremble with excitement as I slide open the top drawer. Everything inside is meticulously stacked or stored in silver bins. Pens. Pencils. Sketch pads. Personalized stationary with the family crest, the Midas gold crown. And more. Gallant is such a neat freak.
    Rifling through the drawer, careful not to make a mess, I experience the thrill of a thief. Like I’m stealing a treasure that doesn’t belong to me—except theoretically, it could be argued that it does—and will get caught any minute. My heart pounds with anticipation. One of the stacks I come across is a bunch of Gallant’s doodles. So charming! There’s even a little full-color self-portrait. How handsome My Prince is!
    The chitchat of servants resonates in my ears; it grows louder, meaning they’re getting nearer. My heartbeat speeds up, and I hasten my search. The last thing I want is for the help to see me going through Gallant’s desk. They might ruin my surprise.
    In the rear of the drawer, I come across a stack of envelopes. Thumbing through them, I find