1001 Dark Nights Read Free

that she wouldn’t chase after him with a horse whip when she realized who he was.
     

Chapter Two
    Worst. Morning. Ever.
    London Gradsky glared at the busted coffee maker. She’d spent twenty minutes fiddle-fucking around with the thing to try and get it to work. Giving it up as a lost cause, she’d chucked the whole works outside.
    No coffee in her cozy camper meant she had to go to the exhibitors’ and contestants’ tent to get her morning jolt of caffeine. Since she’d just planned on quickly ducking in and out, she hadn’t combed her hair, washed her face, brushed her teeth, or changed out of her pajamas.
    And motherfucking, son of a bitch if they weren’t there, Tweedledee and Tweedletwat. Making cowpie eyes at each other while people looked at them with indulgent smiles. She could almost hear the collective sigh of the women in the tent when Stitch gently wiped a smear of powdered sugar off Paige’s cheek then kissed the spot.
    Paige giggled and nuzzled him. Her tiara caught on the brim of his cowboy hat, which sent the newly anointed golden couple’s admirers scurrying forward to help them out of such a huge pickle.
    Of course no one pointed out how stupid it was that Paige actually wore a fucking tiara to breakfast. The man-stealing bitch probably wore it to bed. Then London drifted into a fantasy where Paige had donned the tiara when she gave Stitch a blowjob and it cut the hell out of his abdomen.
    “Sending eye daggers at her while eye fucking him ain’t smart, London,” her on-the-road partner in crime Melissa “Mel” Lockhart said behind her.
    “I’m not eye fucking him, I’m eye fucking him up .”
    “Doesn’t matter, because that’s not how anyone will see it. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
    London allowed herself to be led away. As soon as they were out of screeching range, she exploded. “How in the fuck am I gonna survive this summer, Mel? When every time I turn around I see them sucking each other’s faces off? What does he see in her?”
    Mel didn’t answer. She appeared to be hedging, which was not her usual style.
    “Just spit it out.”
    “Fine. That girl is a bonafide beauty queen. Everyone says she’ll be the next Miss Rodeo America and people treat him like he’s a prince—the heir apparent to take that All Around title at the CRA Championships in a few years. They are a match made in PR heaven. What don’t you get about that?”
    “I don’t get how that asswipe could dump me, via text message, after he does one fundraiser with her because it’s true love? Bullshit. No one falls in love in a night.” London paced along the metal fencing. “I wanna choke her with her stupid ‘Miss Rodeo Colorado’ sash and then tie it around his dick until it turns blue and falls off.”
    Mel’s hands landed on London’s shoulders and then she was right in her face, her brown eyes flashing concern. “This has gotta stop, London. What the hell did you see in him anyway? He’s looks like Opie from The Andy Griffith Show . I think the only reason you ended up with him in the first place is because you were lonely and wanted a dog.”
    “He’s a damn hound dog who needs to be put down,” she muttered.
    “Not true, because we both know that man did not rock your world or even the damn camper when you two got down and dirty. He doesn’t know how to be a horndog.”
    London couldn’t argue that point.
    “Seriously sista, you’re starting to scare me with all these violent scenarios you spout off like horror poetry. Stitch scratching an itch with Paige the underage is not the end of the world. I think the real issue here is you need to get laid by a man who knows what he’s doing. And you’re putting out this I-will-rip-your-dick-off vibe to any man who starts sniffing around you.”
    That wasn’t true…was it?
    “Find a hot guy and fuck him ’til he can’t walk. Then you’ll be back to strutting around with your head held high instead of acting like a whipped