Yowler Foul-Up Read Free Page A

out of bed, padded over to the window in his slippers, and peered out at the front lawn. Unusual: his mystery visitor had closed the gate after himself. Perhaps it was his sister. She’d spent most of the evening having dinner with him, and he supposed she might have forgotten something.
    CLANG , clank , clink , clink .
    “Okay, for goodness’ sake!” Augustus bellowed. “I’m coming.”
    He pulled a dressing gown over his nightshirt and went downstairs, muttering under his breath. On the way down, he glanced into his stairway mirror and reflected, rather bitterly, that he was beginning to look like a chubby old walrus. Oh well, age tended to do that to you. …
    Odd: the front door was stuck.
    He put all his weight behind his heels and leaned back, but the door just wouldn’t budge. He spat on his hands and tried again, then put one foot against the frame and heaved with all his might. Nothing happened. Either damp had expanded the wood in a ludicrously short space of time or—he hesitated to think of the alternative—somebody else was pulling from the other side.
    The brass bell clanged again, and Augustus suddenly felt extremely cold and alone.
    “Is there anybody there?” he called.
    He looked down. A small square of paper had been pushed underneath the door. There was writing on it. He reached down carefully and picked it up, one eye on the door in case an axe head came through it.
    The paper was perfectly cut, an exact rectangle. He read:
STAND AWAY FROM THE DOOR AUGUSTUS WE HAVE HOLD OF IT
    His mind raced. The Yowlers? It had to be; they were the only ones with a reason.
    Sweat began to form on the inventor’s brow, and he found himself shivering.
    “What do you want from me?” he called.
    A second sheet was slipped onto the mat. Augustus read:
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE A BREAK FOR THE BACK DOOR EITHER WE ARE THERE ALSO AND WILL KILL YOU ON SIGHT
    “But why? I haven’t done anything wrong!”
    He bent down to retrieve the answer. Were they attempting to get to him through his arthritis?
YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING HAVEN’T YOU TALKING TO AN ENEMY OF THE GROUP
    He stood back, thrust his hands into his robe pockets and swallowed. “No,” he said. “I never!”
BE VERY CAREFUL HOW YOU ANSWER AUGUSTUS
    “There’s no need for that kind of talk. I’m already afraid.”
YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING WITH INTENT TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL PACK YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE DULLITCH DESTROY ANY REMAINING EVIDENCE OF YOUR UNION WITH US BEFORE YOU DEPART PLACE YOUR FRONT-DOOR KEY UNDER THE FLOWERPOT
    Augustus cocked his head to one side. “I don’t have a flowerpot.”
    There was a brief pause before the note appeared.
A FLOWERPOT WILL BE PROVIDED
    “Do I get a plant with it?”
YOU ARE SKATING ON VERY THIN ICE AUGUSTUS
    “Sorry; didn’t mean any disrespect. Go on.”
UNDERSTAND THAT AFTER TONIGHT YOU MUST NEVER SPEAK OF THIS EVENT UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE
    Augustus gave this a moment’s thought. “When will that be?” he asked.
WHENEVER YOU DECIDE TO SPEAK OF THIS EVENT
    “Ah,” said the inventor. “Now I’m getting you.” He pulled his robe tightly around himself and leaned against the door of his broom closet.
HAVE WE ESTABLISHED A MUTUAL TRUST DO YOU THINK
    “Yes. I’ll do as you say.”
YOU ARE A SENSIBLE MAN AUGUSTUS VRUNAK
    Time passed. At length, the inventor put one ear to the door. “You still there?” he called.
    Silence.
    He turned the handle and cautiously peered out into the night. The garden was empty. It showed no sign of having been disturbed, apart from the rusty gate that swung loose in the wind.

SEVEN
    T HE GRAND DINNER TO welcome the return of Duke Modeset began badly and looked like it would be going downhill from there. The innkeeper, a stout man of indefinite age, was unfathomably moody. He mumbled recognizable obscenities under his breath and slammed the dishes down with such fervor that they almost bounced. Moreover, he didn’t bother to introduce the other guest, who arrived late and chose